Words

My feelings were hurt really badly today...

really bad.

A Des Moines police officer did not have kind words for me earlier this morning. In fact, he did nothing but make me cry and make me feel stupid. I really want to say "Thanks a lot a-hole", but I will bite my tongue.

I made my usual trip downtown Des Moines to the Court House where I had to drop off some documents for one of the lawyers I work with. After circling the Court House for 20 minutes and not being able to find a parking spot anywhere, I decided to park in a private lot right across the street. I knew I was literally going to be in the Court House for maybe 2 minutes, so just figured I'd be in and out, and no one would know that I had briefly disobeyed the law.

As I walked toward my car after doing what I had to do, a man began walking [quite quickly] toward my car from the other direction. My heart began to speed up and all I could think was, "Please no... I don't need a ticket right now..."

I shuffled to the front of my car, and whipped out a pad of paper.

Crap.

Right as he began pulling his cap off of his pen to jot down my license plate number, I opened my mouth and all that came out was "Please don't, I'm REALLY sorry!"

Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't said anything...

I won't quote exactly what he said to me, but it was basically along the lines of "you are stupid, what the f--k were you thinking, you don't have a permit for this lot who do you think you are?, you're not special... etc etc etc...

I think I would have rather gotten the ticket.

Getting yelled at by someone is hard enough, but when it's an older man who does nothing but insult you for 5 minutes, in public, is an absolute nightmare. I bit my lip [hard] for those long minutes attempting to hold in the tears.

Finally after his release of rage, he pointed his finger at me and yelled, "THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU DUMB B-TCH!"

Quickly I got in my car, turned the key, shifted into drive and sped off, finally releasing every ounce of water I had in my eyes. I cried, and cried, and cried... I cried harder than I have in a long time. Never in my life has someone said the words to me that this officer said to me today. I'm gonna be honest when I say that he really pulled me down... he really made me feel worthless and dumb.

Yes, I confess that I should not have parked where I did (even if it was 2 minutes), but I'm sorry, I don't think there is any justifying talking to someone as he did to me.

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me"... yeah, that's a load of crap.

Words can be absolutely beautiful. They can be incredibly encouraging, but words can also hurt. Words can destroy. Words can seep into our hearts and hit us in areas that we have been wounded before; they reopen those wounds of being worthless... etc. Words... they really can rip someone apart. And they did. Today this guy ripped me to shreds. If his goal was to really pound someone into the ground today, he definitely nailed it.

Be careful the next time someone makes you upset or does something wrong. It's possible that the words you speak to them will stick with them for a long, long time.