Monday, February 19, 2007

Will you?

December 30, 2006
I was running through a corn field eagerly looking for my GOD. I would not give up until I found Him. He said, "Here I Am." Though I could not see Him, I heard Him. I continued looking…

December 31, 2006
… keep praying – keep questioning – keep praying – keep searching…

January 1, 2007
… You asked me, "Will you keep running? Will you keep searching?" Yes GOD, my answer is yes…

January 2, 2007
I saw us playing hide-and-go-seek. It excited me. I knew that You were joyful and wanted me to continue looking for You. I felt so connected and near to You at that moment. I knew that I wanted to keep looking for You, even when I couldn't catch a glimpse of You.

January 10, 2007
You asked me something you asked me about week ago… "Will you keep running? Will you keep searching?" But today GOD, I am hesitant… you know why. I don't want my world to fall apart… but I want to and I will continue running and searching no matter the circumstance.

January 18, 2007
"Will you keep running? Will you keep searching?"

February 6, 2007
Even with my doubts and my fears and my uncertainties, I am going to continue running after my GOD, because even though I don't know Him, I trust Him.
February 12, 2007
I was walking around a city. Unknown. As I walked, my thoughts were heard out loud; "GOD, I don't know where I am and everything is so unfamiliar, but I know the You are here with me and I have peace."

February 20, 2007
"Remember what I asked you… will you keep running? Will you keep searching?"

He reminded me specifically of each of these moments. Flipping through each journal page, I had forgotten how many times He had asked me if I would continue looking for Him, or how many times He showed me searching intensely for Him.

Sometimes I forget how faithful He is.

These words play over and over and over in my head: "Will you keep running? Will you keep searching?"

Son or daughter… will you continue looking for me, even when I appear to be missing?
Son or daughter… will you continue searching for me, even when you can't hear me?
Son or daughter… will you still run after me, even when I take a beautiful thing away?
Son or daughter… will you still trust me, even when I take you into the unfamiliar?
Son or daughter… will you still go?
Son or daughter… will you?

Will you?

I was reminded of Jesus commanding His people to follow Him. Jesus spoke the words "follow Me" 20 times in the Bible. It wasn't a "hey follow Me if you feel like it", but a command. Jesus didn't sit down and discuss with His people weather following Him was a good idea or not, He commanded that they follow. He didn't tell them to go do whatever they needed to, and then follow Him… but He said to follow Him right then and there.

A man wanted to bury his dead Father, Jesus said, "Follow Me" (Matthew 8:21-22)
Jesus asked Matthew the tax collector to follow Him, and he did (Matthew 9:9)
Jesus got into a boat, and they followed (Matthew 8:23)
He said follow, "at once they left their nets and followed" (Mark 1:17-18)
A man wanted to say goodbye to his family, Jesus said, "Follow Me" (Luke 9:61-62)

Following GOD is scary. It shouldn't be, but for some reason it is. He knows so much that we don't, and He would never lead us in a direction that wasn't intended for Good.

So here I am. Running and searching and following and pressing forward, harder and more intensely than I ever have before.

My GOD is faithful.

Leaving the familiar is terrifying… but entering the unknown is glorious.

There is so much good here, so much good. But… He's asking me to follow Him into the Greatness that lies in another place. So here I go, following my GOD; confident only in the fact that this is where He wants me to go. No understanding of what will happen or what He has for me there, but only because of two simple words He spoke [and is speaking], "Follow Me."
"The greatest enemy of the best is good."

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Funny God

I met up with an old... acquaintance... last night. Her and I have known each other for a of couple years now, but we never really became good friends. You could say that we went through some things that kept us from ever forming a friendship...

So two weeks ago when the Lord told me I needed to meet up with her to discuss one of the most recent changes in my life, I was shocked.

I refused. This included me whining, talking myself out of it, letting my pride stand in the way, and just being flat out scared.

God is funny.

After a very firm "get a hold of her" from the Lord after church on Sunday, I held my breath and emailed her. So when I received a response back from her the next day I was mortified to open it.

But again, God is funny.

She told me that ever since she briefly saw me at the OneThing Conference over New Years, the Lord had asked her to commit to praying for me. Coincidence? I think not. God asked her to start praying at the exact moment many many many things in my life were beginning to change. Little did I know during that time, the good and the bad that would occur later in January and up until today, but I'm now see that everything started at that conference; right when God wanted me to be covered.

He even wanted a friendship to start that wasn't possible before.

It was so wonderful to sit down with her and talk, and listen, and laugh. There was comfort during those couple of hours that was never been there before... there was honesty and sincerity... there was true joy... there was love... and Love... and there was a connection of friendship that we've never had.

I absolutely loved it.

As we talked, she told me many of the same things so many people have told me... but... it was as if I hadn't heard any of it before. Everything she said seemed all so new, even though I knew it wasn't. But I was finally able to understand. I have no doubt in my mind that God wanted to use her to get through to me because no one else could.

God is funny.

Now, I have a new friend whom I greatly look up to and respect. And the only way this friendship was even possible, is because of the Lord. I can't even express that enough, but it's true. So much healing had to take place before this meeting could've even been possible... and it has.

I love it.

Plus... now I have someone to talk pop music and Justin Timberlake with.