Saturday, November 18, 2006

Light Out Shines darkness

Today is Saturday, November 18, and for a lot of people it's just another regular Saturday. But for other's it's a day to remember loved ones and a day of hope. Today is the 8th annual National Survivors of Suicide Day. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) announced November 18th as the National Survivors of Suicide Day in order to reach out to tens of thousands of people who have lost a loved one to suicide, or who have themselves survived attempts of suicide.

AFSP puts on a walk every year called, Out of the Darkness Overnight. This overnight brings together people from all over the country, t help raise money for suicide prevention. This year, it is taking place in New York City. The thousands of people who gather together for this walk, begin walking as the sun goes down, and they walk through the whole night until the sun begins to rise the next morning. This walk symbolizes the hope and light people can see if they walk through their depression [or darkness], even if the darkness never seems to end.

As a former "darkness walker", I want to stress the importance of today... I want to ask that you would stop for just a moment and pray for those who have lost someone to suicide... I want you to give a shout of praise to the LORD for saving people from suicide. I ask that you boldly ask GOD to shed light on those walking in the darkness right now... that they are about to see hope.

Almost 3 years ago I lost one of my best friends to suicide. You don't forget those phone calls... February 26, 2004 I answered my phone only hoping to catch up with the good friend from high school who was calling. But instead she brought me the news that Tim had committed suicide.

It's funny how the enemy works... with the news brought to me about Tim, all of my own pain and darkness from years before resurfaced. I felt nauseous. I suddenly remembered every moment that I attempted to end my own life. I was brought back into the darkness at that moment... satan takes what he can, including the things from your past that you've been healed of, and will twist and turn and distort them in whatever possible way he can, in hopes of pulling you back into that spot. His goal is to take you out... and he certainly tried... but... Light shines brighter than darkness.

GOD saved me from death with His simple words of "I love you", but unfortunately not everyone who was walking in the dark saw the Light at the end... not everyone believed there could be a way out. That's how the enemy works. He lies, telling you there is no hope and darkness will last forever.

My heart goes out to those who have lost a loved one to one of the biggest lies ever spoken by the enemy.

"Out of the darkness"... there is hope... this is a Light.

And to those who have survived... PRAISE GOD. I dance joyfully with you, thanking the LORD for pressing deep into your heart to show you the Truth, and for giving you eyes to see the Light. You are worth it. You are beautiful. You are Loved.
  • In the United states alone, there are an average of 30,000 suicides reported a year.
  • Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for people between the ages of 14 and 25
  • A person dies of suicide every 18 minutes
  • A person attempts suicide every minute
  • There are four male suicides for every female suicide, but twice as many females as males attempt suicid
  • Every day, approximately 80 Americans take their own life, and 1,500 more attempt to do so
If you want more information about suicide or what AFSP is doing, check out their site.

The Light will come.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Season 6 of 24...

Go watch this right now.

Get ready, because once again Jack Bauer will be kicking some major tail in order to save our beautiful country...

I hereby announce that there will be "24 Night" taking place at mine (and Steph's) apartment once season 6 starts. Come, watch, be amazed.

So I leave you with this... what would Jack Bauer do?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Progress (My) beloved

"I will climb up to my watchtower and stand at my guardpost. There I will wait to see what the LORD says..."

Children... you have stepped into a season of progression. Put aside what you know and prepare for things that are unexplainable to your human understanding. It is time to leave what you know and be immersed into what you do not know. Let no fear capture your attention, for that is only the enemy pressing up against you, hoping to distract you from the words that I have for you. He presses himself up against you whispering lies and false knowledge, but you will know when I speak; My words will be known because you have heard Me in the past, but don't expect to hear Me the way you have before... for My words will come to you in a way that you do not expect, and at first you will be uncertain if you have heard Me. Do not question My voice. Give me your heart... when you do, words will stream over you like a flowing river and no doubt will enter your mind.

I see the tears that fall from your eyes, and the worry that you hold in your heart, but My child, release it. Hand it over to me and dwell on your fears no more. Again, you stand in a season of progression, which calls for you to move forward... advance into My Spirit. I Am waiting for you to trust Me and recognize the courage instilled in you. I have many great things I want to speak... I have many things I want to show... in order to hear and see these things, again, child you must move forward. You must progress in My Spirit. Do not try to understand, for your human mind cannot grasp what I have in store... but instead wait. Instead children, I ask you to just believe and wait expectantly. You will begin to see things you have never seen before, and feel things that are foreign to you. I am blowing my breath over your home preparing you for My Goodness that is coming. No human will be able to understand the Power that is to come, but you will know it is Me. Others will find excuses and come to conclusions that make sense to the world, but do not listen. They are not My children and have said 'no' to me, but you know, for you are Mine beloved.

Let your mind be transformed... do not question Me and My power... again, do not question Me for I Am God. Progress beloved; progress into Me and only Me. It is time...

Friday, November 03, 2006

Waiting [Room]

Five weeks to go... five weeks of classes left that is, and then this girl will be done with undergraduate college courses for the rest of her life.


I'm not really sure what to think. I'm ready to be done, but at the same time, I'm not ready to enter "the real world." The world of no vacations whenever I want... the world of paying for everything, myself (to some this may seem dumb, but I've been lucky and blessed to have parents who help me out in order that I hold no debt)... the world of no homework... the world of going to bed at 10:00 at night and getting up at 5:30 or 6:00 the next morning... the world of being a... responsible adult. Uhh... can I just stay a kid?

I don't feel like an adult. I wish I could get paid to just hang out... travel... sleep. Now that'd be sweet! I know, I know... VERY unrealistic, but honestly, that'd be awesome. Get paid to do whatever the heck I wanted. Now THAT'S when I'll be more then happy to enter the real world.

Though the "official" entering of the real world won't happen until May 12th, 2007, my life as a college student will pretty much be done on December 20th. As an Education major, I will start my student teaching, which is a full time job (where I don't get paid, but rather pay to teach) on January 15th. Since teaching will become my life in January, I have to quit my job at the beautiful Sullivan & Ward, which I have been at for 15 months. It's time, and I'm okay with quitting, but the fact that I will be unemployed... that is, making NO money for four months, terrifies me.

Welcome to the real world I guess... maybe I AM entering the real world sooner than I thought...

Come May though... I have no idea what the heck I'll be doing. Teaching?... maybe. Ministry?... I hope. The LORD has given me some awesome ideas, contacts, and paths to walk down, but He's already spoken that it's not time for me to know what I'll be doing... yet...


I'm currently standing in front of about five different doors right now which I can see in... I can see what's going on behind them and the opportunities and potential that they each hold... but yet have any of these doors opened.


When GOD says "soon" it makes me chuckle. Because the "soon" that I understand, isn't the same "soon" that GOD has in mind. Oh He's a funny one...

Yet despite the fear I have deep within, and the uncertainty, and the nervousness that I feel... GOD is Good. I have the Creator on my side. I have His Spirit living deep within my heart. I have the prayers of His Son being spoken over me. I have favor. And I will wait. I will wait for Him to direct me. I will continue to find Joy during this time that I stand in this waiting room.

...the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)

No where does it say the Holy Spirit produces nervousness... or fear... or insecurity... GOD's Goodness surpasses all of those things. GOD is Greater and more Powerful then that uncertainty.

I definitely have my "oh my gosh, what am I going to do!" moments... but they're [actually] minimal compared to my "I'm fine, GOD has got my back" moments. And thankfully I have people in my life like my family and my boyfriend and my friends to keep me focused on the Truth.

I will never leave you nor forsake you... never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.

Thank you Father.

"Time after time, I find myself
Losing my mind, I have to remind myself
That this is just a waiting room"