Sunday, January 29, 2006

Thinking out loud

With less than a years worth of classes left, I've decided that I don't think I want to be a teacher anymore. Yes, I'm still going to get my degree, and yes I'm still going to try and do well... but come 2007 I hope to be running towards working in ministry full time rather then taking interviews as schools. As of right now I have an a few ideas of what I would love to do, but not yet has the Lord revealed to me what direction He wants me to go in. Junior high kids? College aged? Counseling? It's all very new and exciting... and I absolutely love it! We'll see what He has for me...

The other night I spent 5 hours painting. He's really teaching me more and more about how I can incorporate my artistic abilities into worshiping Him.

I'm heading up to Minnesota this coming weekend with about 35 other people from my church to hit the slopes. I'm ready to put my board on and cruise down the mountain... mountain? Hill perhaps? I know He's given me this talent and it brings Him joy when I find joy in it. There's something about snowboarding that pulls me closer to God... and I can't quite put my finger on it.

I was asked to help lead another trip to Romania this summer. I personally would love to go... but I don't think He wants me to go...

God is teaching me so much about only being with Him. He is so jealous for my love (and yours) and He longs to have all of me (you). To know that the Man of my dreams is right here (and always has been) chasing after me, blows me away. I'm excited to see where He takes me and I'm excited to one day be with a man who looks at Christ and can't help but know that same jealous love that He has for him.

The longer I'm in Des Moines, the more I love living here.

Monday, January 23, 2006

the same old thing...

As I've mentioned before, I love my job. I love the people I work with and I love the fact that I'm not confined to a desk all day long. I love that I get to go out, drive around, serve the lawyers I work for, and meet different people along the way.

I've been running into some of the same people about 3 days a week since early August, but rarely do I ever stop and start up a conversation with any of them. When I go downtown for one of my deliveries, I can walk into the courthouse, have the same 3 security guards nod their heads at me asking "how are things today for you darlin?" After my "going well, yourself?" response, they smile and tell me to "have a good one and we'll see you soon."

It's the same thing... over and over again...

and I feel horrible.

This same thing happens at Banks, the Post Office, a few other Firms, and just about every other place I go on a regular basis...

There is this one place I go all the time that is quite possibly a replica of Office Space; possibly even worse. I walk into this place and can't help but feel trapped... the only sound I ever hear is my own footsteps... on the carpet.

How could someone ever work in an environment like that? I can't imagine... I think I'd go crazy. I am so thankful that the Lord has not called me into that field. Yet then I wonder, would God actually call people to work in conditions like that? I want to say no because I see nothing attractive about sitting alone in a cube, completely silent all day long... and I don't know how anyone could... but He must. Why else would some of those people be there besides for just settling?

It's time for a change...

it's definitely time.

Friday, January 20, 2006


I was brought to Song of Solomon chapter 4 this morning... specifically to verses 7-10.

You are so beautiful, my beloved, so perfect in every part. "Come with me from Lebanon, my bride. Come down from the top of Mount Amana, from Mount Senir and Mount Hermon, where lions have their dens and panthers prowl. You have ravished my heart, my treasure, my bride. I am overcome by one glance of your eyes, by a single bead of your necklace. How sweet is your love, my treasure, my bride! How much better it is than wine! Your perfume is more fragrant than the richest of spices.

How beautiful it is to hear these words from our Father.

How beautiful it is to know that our God whispers these words to each and every one of us!

How beautiful it is to rest in these... simply amazing words.

How beautiful.

You have ravished my heart,
my treasure,
my bride!

This small piece of poetry that we can place out hands on is only a microscopic look at the love that the Lord Jesus pours over us every second of our lives. He simply adores you!

How beautiful,
how simply beautiful.

I pray that you never lose sight of the passion that Yeshua feels for you. That you're able to taste the sweetness He pours over you. That no longer you thirst for love, but take in His whole self and sense the joy that you bring Him; that you are filled and satisfied because you have Him dwelling in you. My hope is that you see yourself the way He does every moment that He lays His eyes on you; as simply stunning. I pray that you fully understand that you are His beloved; there is no greater love than He.

How beautiful you are, my beloved

how beautiful.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

More Weddings

Let me begin by saying congratulations to a number of my friends in their recent engagments...

Congrats Allison and Chris, Jenny and Joe, Mya and Nathan, Michael and Heather, Kristie and Bill, Mollie and Ben... and Carrie and Perry on their marriage.

Whew. That's a lot...

Almost 2 weeks ago I watched my sister and her boyfriend of 6 years finally tie the knot. It was absolutely beautiful. The last wedding I went to was for my cousin when I was in 5th grade, so this one had quite a different impact on me (plus add that fact that my older sister was the bride).

Since I was a freshman in high school, I've been lucky enough to witness one of the most God honoring relationships ever. I don't just say that because she's my sister, but I honestly have never seen a relationship quite like theirs. It's been a blessing to witness their love for one another grow, but even more so, their love for the Lord join together.

Of course, I sobbed through the whole ceremony, but it was simply stunning. God has brought them so far and because of their patience, faithfulness, and purity to one another, they are truly going to be blessed by the Father.

I haven't danced that much in a long, long time... What a celebration it was. It's amazing to celebrate the joining of two people in God's presence. I don't think I have any other words that can express the incredible beauty that marriage is.

I pray that the Lord blesses each of my friends marriages and that He remain the center of their lives as they each come together.

Sidenote: I've decided that I don't think I want a diamond for my engagement ring...

Also, see a post from a number of weeks ago about being the Bride of Christ. He loves you passionately. To think that God wants a deep intimate relationship with you and calls you His bride.

Sunday, January 08, 2006


As much as I say that I can't wait to be out of college, I know that when May '07 comes I'll want nothing more than to be in college all over again. It's the breaks. I absolutely love getting a whole month off during Christmas to do whatever it is I want...

Art Institute of Chicago, Iowa Stars vs. Chicago Wolves, sleep in (everyday), paint, catch up on season 4 of 24, go shopping, hang out downtown, plus add in a bachelorette party, a rehearsal dinner, and a wedding.

Even with a month of free time, I still found myself not having enough time. I haven't been satisfied with 31 days... I want 62 days...

It's funny how we live life that way. We're never satisfied. I guarantee you that if I was given a 62 days winter break, I still would be happy... I'd want 124 days off.

We're never satisfied.


Since I didn't "have enough time" this winter break, this morning I was thinking about all the things I really wanted to do but couldn't (for one reason or another). Besides being bummed out about not spending a lot of time with some of my good friends before they all left, I was super bummed that I missed out on going to
Passion this year. I had a great experience last year and would have loved to return again this year... this morning I went to the Passion 06 website to check out some pictures from the conference...

There was one picture that caught my attention. It was of a banner that they had hung up outside of the area... God taught me more from these two small words than I ever could imagine.

Be Satisfied.

Oh how my soul yearns for our world to be satisfied.

For me to be satisfied...

How beautiful are those words? How beautiful would it be to be completely and utterly 100% satisfied? Satisfied with the things we have, satisfied with the food we eat, satisfied with our friends, satisfied with our lives... satisfied because we have Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. Shouldn't He be enough?

Oh that we would be satisfied because of Him.