Thursday, June 30, 2005


this heart is for God and God alone.

that's one of the 32,436,643,329,050 things i learned while i spent 3 weeks in romania. i could go on and on explaining every little thing i saw and experienced and discovered while i was over in eastern europe, but i won't. one reason being, it would take me literally forever to write everything. but even more importantly, my heart is for Him and only Him. He changed me. He molded me into more of the woman of Him that He is calling me to be.

i do have great stories to tell though. yet, i cannot fall deep into the inner depths of how my heart changed, i still have story after story to share.

Christ is alive and working even on the other side of the world. at times that's hard to grasp, but i was graciously given the oppertunity to step right into the center of the Father's working hand and help fight the battle against the devil currently taking place.

my heart yerns for romania more and more every time that i go, and i pray that one day i will be called back for a time period longer than 3 weeks. hopefully one day...

thank you to all who were praying for me. your prayers mean so much and i'm so thankful to have had such strong warriors lifting me up all over the united states. God rules.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


what do you think of when you hear the word "missions"? i'm guessing that 95% of you think "overseas" or "outside of the US". am i right? rethink that word for a moment and see if your perception changes... ... yes?... no?...

the Lord calls each and every one of us to fight and work and serve in a mission field. yet, too often do we think that our "mission field" has to be somewhere hundreds and thousands of miles away. wrong.

matthew 28:19-20 says, "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit..." right away we hear "nations" and think far away. we are reading this wrong... "go and make disciples of all nations..."... all nations. the new century version says: "go and make followers of all the people in the world" and the message says: "go out and train everyone you meet, far and near..." it doesn't say, "go and make disciples of people outside of the united states"...

it is so important that we understand that we are living in a mission field right here in the united states. right in lake forest there are people who need to be reached. right in des moines are there people desperate for life. right here in our own backyards. right here.

don't get me wrong... going overseas is awesome. in fact, i'm leaving for romania here in 2 days to do mission work. i must remember though, i still do have a mission field to serve right here in des moines.

the Father, i believe, does in fact call us all to different areas to minister. wherever you are currently living is your first key ministry area. we cannot continue living in our towns, sitting and just hoping that lives are going to change without helping to make that change happen. we must step into this field and work. secondly, the Lord may in fact put another place on your heart to serve in and fight for. i have a friend who has a huge heart for spain... awesome. i personally do not have a heart for that country and thats okay. God's asked me to be one of the people to cover the fight in romania.

each nation will be covered. God makes sure of that. if we were all supposed to have a heart for japan, then who would be fighting over in brazil? in cuba? in iceland?

besides where you are living right now, look to see if the Father is calling you to help cover another "nation" (a US city, state, foreign country). He might be, He might not be. but wherever He is calling you, go there. pray for that place. fight for those people. serve. a person whose heart breaks for san jose, california is just as cool, and does the same cool things as someone who has a heart for greece.

look to Jesus... where is your mission field?

Wednesday, June 01, 2005


at any point that someone is identified as a leader or placed in a leadership position, that persons life changes drastically. the person becomes a target to watch 24/7. the person is viewed to have all the answers. the person is looked at to have wisdom concerning everything. the person is thought of as more spiritual than those not in a leadership role. the person is commonly looked at as... perfect. or atleast almost perfect.

why has our christian view on leadership turned into this? is it because since we know we ourselves mess up, we have hope that the ones guiding us and the ones teaching us won't screw up? is it because we long to have that comfort of another human watching out for us, helping to take care of us and make sure that we're doing okay? i don't get it... if someone does, explain it to me please.

every leader i've ever met is no where near perfect. i even know/have met some people in leadership positions that i've found it difficult to even like. this makes me wonder... how do some people even reach certain levels of leadership? is there a specific criteria? do you have to meet certain terms and regulations? i still don't get it...

... i don't get it because i am currently sitting in a leadership role. i am no different than the people i am helping to "lead." i mess up everyday, just like they do. i have trouble loving people everyday, just like they do. i don't always read my bible daily, just like they do. i get mad at God, just like they do. ... i also can hear the Lord's voice, just like they do. i pray, just like they do. i try and be obedient, just like they do. just like they do. just... like... they... do...

i am no different.

moses appointed people as leaders in deuteronomy from each tribe. he said that these people must "have wisdom, understanding, and a good reputation" to fit the job. wow... that's a lot to live up to if you ask me.

for some reason, the Lord trusts me to take this step up and lead. for some reason, God is trusting me. He is holding me to a higher standard now.

i am aware that no leader is perfect and i could very well be a leader... but deep down i still have that christian view... "all leaders are wise, super spiritual, and so close to perfect it makes me stand in awe"... yeah right is that me!

i accept this leadership role that i stand in and the challenges that come alongside leading... but still...

... i don't get it...