workin for the fuzz

a friend of mine who works for an anti-tobacco company hooked me up with doing alcohol checks for the waukee police department. going into bars and gas stations trying to buy beer sounded like fun, so my friend jenny and i headed to the police station for our assignment last night.

sergeant troy and officer rod had 5 bars and 7 gas stations we needed to check out. things got even more interesting when we found out we'd all be riding around in an undercover cop car together. sweet... i had never been in a cop car, let alone doing secret agent work for the popo.

our assignment: go into 5 bars (mikeys, bank bar, the pub, los [something], and... another...), sit down at the bar, order a beer of some kind, see if they check id.

say not old enough - leave bar causally and don't make a scene; go along with whatever they say.
if served (whether id is check or not) - sit for a few minutes with beer in hand (NO DRINKING), pay, walk out to let officers know what happened, officer's go in and fine that person $700 and the bar/station will be put on a watch list or have their license suspended.

bar #1:
jenny and i entered, walked right up to the counter, and sat down. quickly, a guy came out from the back room, saw us, asked us what we wanted, gave us our order, and left quickly back into where he had come from. we sat for about two minutes, left money on the counter, and made our way outside to tell troy and rod who served us, and that they didn't check our id's. troy and rod then made their way into the bar while we sat waiting in the car. about 5 minutes later, troy comes out laughing a bit... "you guys got the manager..."

bar #2-#4:
id's checked, and they wouldn't serve. i was almost served at bar #3, but jenny got up after he told her she was too young...

bar #5:
we walked into a completely empty bar, except for 3 people working. sat down at the counter where right away the lady asked for our id's. literally, she studied mine like a hawk for 2 or 3 minutes... "honey, this doesn't look like you at all! wow..." "well, i was only 16 and i had jaw surgery, that's why i look so different." she even showed the other 2 people working because she was so shocked it didn't look like me. finally gave me mine back and took jenny's... "hun, you're not old enough, i can't serve you"... [turned to me]... "what do you want honey." "miller lite in the bottle please." we sat for a few minutes, paid, and then exited. cops then went in... 10 minutes later we look down the street watching the manager shake her finger at troy and rod. when they got back in the car, i learn that the woman who served me had some choice words expressing her anger at me... "that skanky b-tch!! this is entrapment! that b-tch better not f--king come in here again! that b-tch!" so glad i didn't have to enter that bar again... and i don't think i ever will...

gas station #1:
jenny got carded and left empty handed.

gas station #2:
i walked in, grabbed a six pack, walked to the counter where a 16 year old kid happened to be working... paid and walked out. cops went in where he replied... "man! she looked 21, i didn't think i needed to card her!" i admit... i do feel bad about this one... 16 years old!... $700 fine and fired from his job... mommy and daddy are not going to be too pleased with that one.

gas station #3-#5:
jenny walked away with nothing from two place, and i walked away beerless from one.

gas station #6:
walked in, grabbed a case, showed rhonda my id when she asked, where she replied, "illinoisssss!! whacha doin here in good ol' ioowaaa?!" walked out... #4 busted for the night.

gas station #7:
we drive by out last stop where rod and troy say, "JASON IS WORKING! we HAVE to bust him... HUGE drug dealer. he'll sell to you because you're hot." (weird... thanks...???) i go in, grab a pack, he checks my id, but discovers i'm not old enough. i walk out empty handed. once i explain this to troy and rod, they go in anyways suspecting something... found out that another store had called them to give them the heads up, which come to find out is illegal. stores are told to keep quiet when these checks take place... so i guess a woman named bonnie is in HUGE trouble for opening her big mouth. thanks bonnie, i wanted to get the drug dealer!

i admit there were times (mainly for the 16 year old) that i felt bad, but checking id's correctly is apart of their job! they need to do it right. if i can walk into these places and get served that easily, who's to say some kid who is 18 isn't going to walk into a place, get served, drink their brains out, and end up getting in a drunk driving accident that night, killing someone. in reality, i am looking at it as me helping out underage people from having access to something they are not supposed to touch until they're 21.

what i learned:

• cops have DIRTY mouths
• cops have DIRTY minds and say whatever is on them (even if it's something totally inappropriate aimed at you)
• people need to work on their math skills...
• i am now hated by at least 4 people in waukee
• if i bat my eyes and smile at guys working in bars and gas stations, i can most likely get what i want
• i'm $40 richer

if i wasn't already going to school for secondary ed, i'd so look into becoming an undercover cop.

[secret agent man... secret agent man...]

over and out.