bitterness

i hate the feeling of bitterness. it leaves me feeling slimy and cheap. with the bitterness comes some strong built up anger, followed by tears of saddness. i hate it... slimy and cheap.

i need to vent...

i am not one to hold grudges. yes, i am a girl so there will be times when it takes me longer to get over some things than others... but grudges... not usually. the few times i have been bitter towards someone though, all had one thing in common... they all dealt with my heart in some way. i had a couple back in high school concerning stupid boys/crushes, but no longer am i bitter, and haven't been for years. thank the Lord... wew.

right now though is a different story. good friends have a way of hurting you more than anyone else can. ... i miss my friendship i had for so long with that person... it's not there at all anymore... and.i.am.bitter. when any two good friends stop hanging out and/or talking, the relationship comes to an end, and just as a romantic relationship would... often times it leaves one of the two with... some... bitterness.

slimy and cheap. ick.

i long to have that bitter taste in my mouth gone, and have the taste of the Father's sweetness rushing through my body. bitterness does something to you... it makes you cringe. it catches you off gaurd. it suprises you (in a bad way). and it... makes... you... feel... slimy and... ch..ea..p.

there is a time and place for everything... but... i'm coming to understand that my time and place for this bitterness is... up...

i am sorry.

... He tells me, "go and rinse your mouth out"...

i can taste the bitterness slowly turning into something different...

sweetness.

amen.