Waiting [Room]

Five weeks to go... five weeks of classes left that is, and then this girl will be done with undergraduate college courses for the rest of her life.

Wow.

I'm not really sure what to think. I'm ready to be done, but at the same time, I'm not ready to enter "the real world." The world of no vacations whenever I want... the world of paying for everything, myself (to some this may seem dumb, but I've been lucky and blessed to have parents who help me out in order that I hold no debt)... the world of no homework... the world of going to bed at 10:00 at night and getting up at 5:30 or 6:00 the next morning... the world of being a... responsible adult. Uhh... can I just stay a kid?

I don't feel like an adult. I wish I could get paid to just hang out... travel... sleep. Now that'd be sweet! I know, I know... VERY unrealistic, but honestly, that'd be awesome. Get paid to do whatever the heck I wanted. Now THAT'S when I'll be more then happy to enter the real world.

Though the "official" entering of the real world won't happen until May 12th, 2007, my life as a college student will pretty much be done on December 20th. As an Education major, I will start my student teaching, which is a full time job (where I don't get paid, but rather pay to teach) on January 15th. Since teaching will become my life in January, I have to quit my job at the beautiful Sullivan & Ward, which I have been at for 15 months. It's time, and I'm okay with quitting, but the fact that I will be unemployed... that is, making NO money for four months, terrifies me.

Welcome to the real world I guess... maybe I AM entering the real world sooner than I thought...

Come May though... I have no idea what the heck I'll be doing. Teaching?... maybe. Ministry?... I hope. The LORD has given me some awesome ideas, contacts, and paths to walk down, but He's already spoken that it's not time for me to know what I'll be doing... yet...

"Soon."

I'm currently standing in front of about five different doors right now which I can see in... I can see what's going on behind them and the opportunities and potential that they each hold... but yet have any of these doors opened.

"Soon."

When GOD says "soon" it makes me chuckle. Because the "soon" that I understand, isn't the same "soon" that GOD has in mind. Oh He's a funny one...

Yet despite the fear I have deep within, and the uncertainty, and the nervousness that I feel... GOD is Good. I have the Creator on my side. I have His Spirit living deep within my heart. I have the prayers of His Son being spoken over me. I have favor. And I will wait. I will wait for Him to direct me. I will continue to find Joy during this time that I stand in this waiting room.

...the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)

No where does it say the Holy Spirit produces nervousness... or fear... or insecurity... GOD's Goodness surpasses all of those things. GOD is Greater and more Powerful then that uncertainty.

I definitely have my "oh my gosh, what am I going to do!" moments... but they're [actually] minimal compared to my "I'm fine, GOD has got my back" moments. And thankfully I have people in my life like my family and my boyfriend and my friends to keep me focused on the Truth.

I will never leave you nor forsake you... never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.

Thank you Father.

"Time after time, I find myself

Losing my mind, I have to remind myself

That this is just a waiting room"