The Desert

Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increaseand may enter and possess the land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers. Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him. (Deuteronomy 8:1-6)

Those "forty years" are a constant in our lives. At least for myself, I haven't had just one "forty year desert" experience, but more than I could ever count. And surprisingly, I love that.

Finding myself in that "desert time" [for whatever reason it may be] is always nothing less than difficult and painful... yet there is so much beauty within those deserts. Feeling like I'm going crazy, or a constant flow of tears, or even sometimes the lack of tears, and just complete confusion... my own time in the dusty wilderness leaves me with these symptoms. I will feel unsure, unmotivated, stubborn, disconnected...

Incredibly enough, the one thing I'm never able to lose sight of or deny, is the constant Love poured over me by the only One who is with me every step of the way. Even the moments where I feel that I'm completely alone, He will press His never ending Love on me more... something that brings tears to the Father's eyes is when one of His children feels alone in the world. It breaks His heart. When I see a family member or friend feeling alone or unloved, all I want to do is pour my love into them even more. So just imagine how much more Love your Creator will pour on you when your heart is broken.

Moses reminds us why we enter these "desert times"... why God will allow us to be in a period of uncertainty. The middle of the desert is exactly where the LORD wants us... why? Because it's exactly where He is able to call us back to Him. He absolutely loves seeing you run after Him and call His name... He adores it. The desert is a place where He opens eyes to His mighty power and His never ending faithfulness.

"Even in the midst of your wondering, I Am here to provide. I Am here to protect. I Am here to remind you of Myself."

When we are madly in Love with Jesus, not only is His name imprinted on us, but His heart and commands are placed within us. The desert begins to wash away the old, and instill with us His Words. Finding our way out, our heart is renewed and each time we leave the sand, it can become more and more clear as to what we are chosing to live for... or ever more so, Who we live for.

As important as these deserts are for us, I'm excited to say that I'm in the process of walking on solid ground again. I would never change the most recent desert I've been going through for anything... yes, it's been hard and saddening, but totally worth it. He's captured my heart again, and I can't help but fall more and more in love with Him.

To weep in order to see clearly again? To stand in confusion in order to discover direction? To feel pain in order to be reminded of God's promises? To be "alone" in order to know God?

Yes. I say yes.

"If God can accomplish His promises in this world through a broken heart, then why not thank Him for breaking yours?" --Oswald Chambers--