New Love (history)

I have a confession... reading the old testament (minus a select few books such as Psalms, Proverbs, Song or Songs, Haggai, and Habakkuk) is a bit rough for me. It's always been that way. Not because I can't understand it, because I can, but because it's strictly history. Yes, the new testament is also history, but it's different... you know what I mean. If you know me well, you know that history is not my thing. In high school I was lucky to get by with a B or C in every history course I took... I despised learning about what the heck happened back in 650 BC. In fact, I despised learning about what happened just 40 years ago in the 60's. So when I found that in college I was going to have to take 2 history classes in order to graduate, right away I signed myself up for a couple religion classes.

Two reasons... 1.) if I was going to have to sit through lectures about history, I might as well learn more about God as well and 2.) I thought that maybe by studying the old testament it would give me a better appreciation for Biblical history.

But again, history... not my thing.

The past few months I've been feeling more called to dig into the old testament (not just read, but dig. There's a difference). And I admit that I've been somewhat... reluctant to following that call...

I know that He's been wanting me to get in deep, but it's been hard to get past "all I keep reading about is this tribe and how they're related to this tribe... blah blah blah..." So what do I do? Read it just to get through it...

"There, I read 1 Kings Lord. Done."

Yeah right Jackie. It quite ridiculous that I sometimes think I'm fooling God by reading what He tells me to, claiming that I'm digging, when in fact I've thrown the shovel off to the side.

I really hope it doesn't sound like I hate the old testament, because I don't! I know there is so much to discover from these books and it really does break my heart that I don't thirst for those stories and readings more. But praise God for being a God that changes hearts... can I get an amen?!

For a while now, all I've been wanting to do is read stuff out of the old testament... but not just read, I've been digging. And digging hard. It's been incredible. It's completely the Lord because I'm actually enjoying everything I lay my eyes on... even 1 and 2 Kings... wow. Enjoying Kings?! That's something I never thought could happen. I'm craving for God's voice and hand, and I'm heavily hearing and seeing it.

Eli makes me laugh... Samuel easily captures my attention... Nehemiah is crazy (good crazy)...

I'm so fascinated with the people God used, spoke to, punished, blessed. I've even gotten to the point where I'm seeking after outside information to learn more about these people. That may not seem like a big deal, but trust me... for me it is. I'm yearning to learn more abuot the early church. It's weird to think that I've been following after God for as long as I have, and I'm just now willing to sweat and dig and run and dive in after the deepness that is within old testament words. It's refreshing... more then refreshing. He's pulled me to a new level of where He wants me to be. And in the process of pulling me, He's changed my heart.

Again, history was never my thing...

but I think it's becoming my thing.

Funny God. I love it.