it hurts.

My heart hurts tonight.

... it hurts because His Heart hurts...

The hurt comes only from this world. The darkness is heavy today... it was heavy yesterday... it was heavy 8 years ago... 13 years ago... 2000 years ago...

... the heaviness doesn't disappear; some days I [unconsiously] choose to ignore it. But today I cannot, and I will not.

His Heart hurts, causing my heart to hurt... my heart hurts, causing His Heart to hurt. It's a beautiful cycle. To know Him, really know Him, is to fall into the center of His Heart. To be at the core, experiencing the storm with Him; the pain and the saddness... that is when He is known.

To know God is to know His heart.

Yet, joy presses through the storm... joy, reminding us, that our God is bigger than this world.

That is Enough.

Still, the darkness remains heavy. My heart hurts... His Heart hurts.

(... the death of Tim... seven high school classmates... thousands of strangers in New York... students from Littleton, Colorado... death in the Middle East... in Oklahoma City... students and professors from Virginia Tech... )

The darkness is heavy.

Our hearts hurt...

a [joyful] hurt.

concerts everywhere

(FYI - If you're looking for something profound, stop reading now)

Over the past month, I've been able to go see three of my favorite artists/bands live. Besides getting to see some great artists at OneThing (not a concert... but in a way it is...), it had been about five months since I had bought any tickets to any shows. March and April have been good to me concerning concerts. Not to mention, for every show I somehow managed to be leaning against the stage.

My concert-spree began with my beloved Justin Timberlake. Hands down, his show is the best show I've ever seen. There are no words to describe how phenomonal it was. Plus... getting to hold his hand pretty much made my life. As sick as it is, I've had a thing for Mr. JT since I was in 7th grade, so you can only imagine that I became a screaming 13 year old girl while at this show. It was great.

The concerts continued on with the genius' who are MuteMath. This was my third time seeing them and they were just as incredible as they have been in the past. They know how to entertain. Unfortunetly, I didn't get to drive them to Denny's and hang out with them after the show this time, but just being at their show, watching them create insanely awesome music, and go nuts breaking things at the end was enough for me.

And the finale occured last night with Anberlin. They are nothing less than incredible musicians. I thought about crowd surfing just so I could get a hug from Steven, but voted against it in fear of being killed by the crazy fans. I've never been more sore and tired after a concert in my entire life. I even have bruises from the moshers who thought it would be okay to slam into me and push me against the stage for the entire show. Even though being in front hurt... a lot, it was well worth the view of Nathan Young. ; )

.

Surprisingly, I'm not concerted-out. I've actually been sad to think about the fact that I have no planned shows to attened in the near furture...

As into music I am, it's weird that, I myself, am not musically talented in any way. Listening to all these great artists and watching them perform, makes me want to become a musician. But alas, I have no music ability. God did not bless me what that gift. I suppose I will continue to be one of the people who just listens, enjoys, and rocks out when necessary.

the cost of blood

A heart cries out...

I am free in Christ, yet so often do I feel I'm a slave. I can overcome any battle with my God, yet defeat lurks around my body.

What is freedom God?... real, alive, heavenly Freedom.

"Child rise up, My child, rise up!"

I cannot... for I do not know Freedom...

"Be liberated! I call you to come into the realm of Freedom from all restriction and bondage. Come forth! Break loose! Now is a time..."

for not even freedom itself is free. it comes at the highest of cost. the cost of blood.

--300--