[His] Tender Words

I didn't attend my own church this morning, but rather a friend and I went downtown to a church I've been wanting to visit for a while now. I don't think I can even begin to express in words how the Holy Spirit spoke through this pastor. It was insane... amazing insane. I haven't quite been to a service like the one I went to this morning.

After the service, I met up with my mentor at this church. We both had the same idea of how our time together was going to look...

boy were we wrong. God had something else planned.

We sat talking for 10 minutes about how our weekends were, when out of no where the pastor of this church came walking in. He surprised us both because we thought we were the only two left in the building.

"So I hear the LORD spoke wise words through you this morning Pastor H." He looked at us both and just smiled, "the Father is so good to us!"

Amen.

The three of us sat in silence with huge smiles across our faces for what seemed like hours. He then turned to me and began speaking words that made me think to myself "umm... are you stalking me?... because why else would you be saying all this stuff?..."

For half an hour this pastor spoke words about where my heart was... the frustrations that I've been feeling... the desires I have for the beautiful things God has placed in my life... relationships... (sidenote: I've never met or talked to this man before in my life)

He wasn't directing these words specifically at me... yet at the same time everything that came out of his mouth was directly for me. Once these 30 minutes passed he just looked back at me and said, "I'm sorry... I have no idea why I said all that. The Spirit just told me too... I'll let you both get back to your meeting."

My mentor and I just sat for a few moments taking in everything he had shared that had been on his heart. She then apologized and said she wasn't feeling great so she had to leave, but then said, "It's funny how God works Jackie... Pastor H doesn't just come and sit down and talk like that with people for as long as he did, especially when he said he's as busy as he is today. God spoke to you through him didn't he...? I can tell..."

More than I can explain.

Though our purpose of getting together was to discuss how our mentoring stuff was going to look, really we were supposed to be there because the LORD wanted to speak some words to me. The same words that He has been speaking for a while, and the same words that I've been hearing, but I haven't fully been understanding the seriousness and depth of them...

How beautiful is it when God uses people we don't know (and do know) to wake us up... and to speak tenderly to us.

But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to me there, as she did long ago when she was young... (Hosea 2:14-15)

New Love (history)

I have a confession... reading the old testament (minus a select few books such as Psalms, Proverbs, Song or Songs, Haggai, and Habakkuk) is a bit rough for me. It's always been that way. Not because I can't understand it, because I can, but because it's strictly history. Yes, the new testament is also history, but it's different... you know what I mean. If you know me well, you know that history is not my thing. In high school I was lucky to get by with a B or C in every history course I took... I despised learning about what the heck happened back in 650 BC. In fact, I despised learning about what happened just 40 years ago in the 60's. So when I found that in college I was going to have to take 2 history classes in order to graduate, right away I signed myself up for a couple religion classes.

Two reasons... 1.) if I was going to have to sit through lectures about history, I might as well learn more about God as well and 2.) I thought that maybe by studying the old testament it would give me a better appreciation for Biblical history.

But again, history... not my thing.

The past few months I've been feeling more called to dig into the old testament (not just read, but dig. There's a difference). And I admit that I've been somewhat... reluctant to following that call...

I know that He's been wanting me to get in deep, but it's been hard to get past "all I keep reading about is this tribe and how they're related to this tribe... blah blah blah..." So what do I do? Read it just to get through it...

"There, I read 1 Kings Lord. Done."

Yeah right Jackie. It quite ridiculous that I sometimes think I'm fooling God by reading what He tells me to, claiming that I'm digging, when in fact I've thrown the shovel off to the side.

I really hope it doesn't sound like I hate the old testament, because I don't! I know there is so much to discover from these books and it really does break my heart that I don't thirst for those stories and readings more. But praise God for being a God that changes hearts... can I get an amen?!

For a while now, all I've been wanting to do is read stuff out of the old testament... but not just read, I've been digging. And digging hard. It's been incredible. It's completely the Lord because I'm actually enjoying everything I lay my eyes on... even 1 and 2 Kings... wow. Enjoying Kings?! That's something I never thought could happen. I'm craving for God's voice and hand, and I'm heavily hearing and seeing it.

Eli makes me laugh... Samuel easily captures my attention... Nehemiah is crazy (good crazy)...

I'm so fascinated with the people God used, spoke to, punished, blessed. I've even gotten to the point where I'm seeking after outside information to learn more about these people. That may not seem like a big deal, but trust me... for me it is. I'm yearning to learn more abuot the early church. It's weird to think that I've been following after God for as long as I have, and I'm just now willing to sweat and dig and run and dive in after the deepness that is within old testament words. It's refreshing... more then refreshing. He's pulled me to a new level of where He wants me to be. And in the process of pulling me, He's changed my heart.

Again, history was never my thing...

but I think it's becoming my thing.

Funny God. I love it.

All up in my Face [Literally]

I kicked off my acting career last night.

A buddy of mine called me up the other day and asked me to be apart of a video that he's making to help promote the dodgeball league at our church.

"Be there at 7:00... get ready to act your brains out."

Walking into the gym, I joined the other "actors" who sat patiently on the bleachers awaiting their turn in front of the camera. A bit confused at what was going on, I turned to the other confused faces asking whether they knew what their parts consisted of or not.

"I have no idea..."

Whew... at least I wasn't the only clueless person in the room.

One by one each of us were called to film our scenes, finding out our lines and characters seconds before the camera began rolling. Laughter overtook the gym... tears rolled down my face as I tried to compose myself. Improv is hysterical. I haven't laughed that hard in a long, long time. I wasn't sure how I was going to hold myself together when it was my turn, especially if I was going to have to act like a complete idiot...

which is exactly what I had to do.

Nate stood with his camera a foot away from my face. "Be hysterical... hyperventilate... just freak out for a few minutes... ready... go."

Do what?! Oh gosh... okay, I'll give it a try.

And so I did. I widened my eyes, I made my face turn bright red, I talked twice as fast as I usually do, I fanned my face, I breathed heavily... I did exactly what they wanted; I acted like a nut. Once I finished and the camera was turned off, we all busted out into even more laughter. I'm not an actor, nor have I ever been, but I loved the rush that came during those few minutes of becoming someone completely different than myself.

Soon after I suddenly realized what I had just gotten myself into...

Next week my face was going to appear on an enormous screen (taking up THE WHOLE screen as a matter of fact) in front of a couple hundred people. Then add the fact that I wasn't going to just be starring into the camera, but everyone was going to witness my seconds of "freak out."

Oh geez...

So next week, I'd like to apologize to everyone for the possible saliva that might be visible, for any food that might be stuck in my teeth, if anything penetrates out from my nose, or if my huge eyes suddenly go cross-eyed for even a moment. This shall be interesting...

as well as embarrassing... Oh well!

So sit back and enjoy this... fabulous piece of video we all worked so hard on.

Painting [by GOD]

God painted a picture for Des Moines Iowa this morning.

The majority of the world claims to believe in a god of some type. We [the people of the world] know this god is big, it's in charge of something, and we can ask it to protect us or help us in times of need. A lot of the time, this is where the view of "our god" stops. Though, questions are continually being asked, yet the ears of the askee are being covered by our own hands.

"God, how much do you control?"

"God, how big are you?"

"God, will you prove to me that you're real?"

"God, why don't you ever answer my prayers?"

"God, what do you look like?"

We find ourselves settling towards a view of god that makes complete and utter sense to our own self. Like mentioned, we know this god is big... bigger than us, it's in charge of something... "destiny", and it will protect us when we're in trouble... sometimes...

We ask how big God is, but when He tries to show us we turn the other way... we close our eyes. We believe He's big, but we aren't willing to believe He's really that big. We live life "allowing" God to be as big as we "let" Him be. We hide from the reality of WHO GOD IS because we can't handle not being in control. We can't handle not having evidence and logical answers to back up God-centered questions. We only believe what could logically be true.

Someone who is cured from cancer has become a testimony of a miracle... not of the Hand of God. An earthquake is only the colliding of plates... has nothing to do with the Hand of God. Sperm and an egg coming together to create a baby... again... it's just that; nothing to do with the Hand of God.

Again, we ask...

"Will you prove to me that you're real God? Will you prove to me that you're big?"

... He wants to...

... and He's been trying.

He's been trying nonstop since the beginning of time. He knows He's big, He knows He can do great things, He knows that He can do it all. Yet some how we keep missing it...

Well not today. I certainly, along with many others, know that we were far from missing God revealing a small part of Himself this morning. The picture above, is a of what appeared before us here in Des Moines, Iowa (I apologize for it not being extremely clear - I took it with my phone). It was incredible. I sat in my car outside of where I work for 10 minutes captivated by the sight.

I love how He captured so many eyes and hearts this morning.

There will still be some who saw the phenomenal sight and still say, "Cool, look how all the gases in the sky are mixing and combusting to form the rainbows and bright lights..."

(Keep in mind that GOD is LIGHT and He is the Maker of those gases and particles)

God is an artist and He treated us to one of His paintings today...

simply to just say,

"Look at Me... I'm so much bigger than you let Me be."

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Then as I looked, I saw a door standing open in heaven, and the same voice I had heard before spoke to me with the sound of a mighty trumpet blast. The voice said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must happen after these things." And instantly I was in the Spirit, and I saw a throne in heaven and someone sitting on it! The one sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones--jasper and carnelian. And the glow of an emerald circled his throne like a rainbow. Twenty-four thrones surrounded him, and twenty-four elders sat on them. They were all clothed in white and had gold crowns on their heads... (Revelation 4:1-4)

♥ Valentines Day ♥

This afternoon I met up with a friend and her new baby boy. He, might I add, is honestly one of the cutest and most beautiful babies I have ever seen... I couldn't stop looking at him. I found myself captivated by his baby blue eyes and his chubby cheeks. All I could think about was how beautiful he was and that our God knit him together.

I wasn't the only one whose eyes were drawn to him.

Her and I got together to specifically talk about how I should go about getting involved with ministry, rather than continuing down the path of becoming a teacher. She told me her story about how she began a journey of becoming a teacher, but then suddenly found herself running towards ministry... she gave me advice on places I could look at working or volunteering this summer that may help give me a better idea of what the Lord is calling me to... she listened as I poured out my desire to serve God in whatever I did... she prayed for me...

And amongst as this I couldn't help but notice one thing...

she would not stop looking and touching her little baby boy.

If I'm ever in deep conversation with someone and I don't feel that I'm getting their full attention, I'll find myself somewhat flustered; they obviously must not care enough about our conversation to zone in 100%.

But... with her, not once did a feeling of "annoyance" or "anger" enter my mind... only joy and excitement.

I knew she was listening. I knew she was fully focused on our conversation. And I knew that every topic we covered set afire a small piece of her heart. But just as I was in awe of her little boy, she too [even moreso] remained fixed on him.

God showed me Himself today in her... and He showed me myself in baby J. He gave me a picture of the way that He cares for [us] His children. He reminded me that He is always touching and checking up on His kids, after every sound or movement they (we) make, because of how captivated He is by our beauty. And yet, we always have His full attention. Even when He's reaching His hand down to wipe away the tears of another, His attention and His desire to hear your cry remains.

How could I get annoyed with my friend when all she was doing was protecting and making sure that her baby was okay... when all she was doing was being like the Father.

Towards the end of our time together, she asked the question of the day (which take me back a year ago I would've burst into tears from sadness)...

"You have any plans with a special guy tonight?"

Surprisingly I found myself with a huge smile across my face, replying with a cheerful "no... no plans. I'm single and I can honestly say that I'm okay with it..."

She smiled at me, then turned her head towards her little bundle of joy and kissed him. It was breath taking... that's exactly what He was doing to me.

Best Valentines Day ever...

V-Day

A little something I received from a brother this morning...

Happy Valentines Day.

To the women who are so valuable to the body of Christ.

This day is dedicated to the remembrance of romance and the love between couples. I think that’s cool and all but hopefully everyday you spend with the one you care about is expresses and filled with romance and love between the two of you. I feel that’s what Jesus's relationship to us embodies.

On this celebrated day I just wanted to write you women to share my appreciation of you all. You women of God have influence and changed the way women have been looked at for generations. Us men are in amazement and admiration of your passion, closeness, and relentless pursuit to honor the Lord God Jesus Christ. Women, I would like to thank you all for being just as God wants you, setting the trend and example for the way women should be. Your influence is going to send echoing repercussions for generations to come. You are valued and loved by the men who through God have been given the name and privilege of being called your brothers. Thank you for encouraging, strengthening, influencing, and being our rock in times of weakness. Without you and the way God uses you, us men would be incomplete.

I know on a personal level God has blessed me by getting to know most of you and a big part of my walk with Christ has been forever inspired and changed because of you.

I hope you all spend this day focusing on the overflowing love Jesus Christ has for you all. He is the ultimate romancer who desires to express his love to His valued creation not once a year but everyday. God recognizes and will reward your lovesick pursuit for Him.

Thank you for being in the body of Christ and building His Kingdom.


Arise Woman Of God

Rise up O woman of God
In what He has given you
The things God has laid on your heart
Rise up, go forth, and do.

Unlock what God has placed within
The potential you have inside
The world is waiting for your release
To expand your wings and fly.

Arise in your God-given gifts
For this is your finest hour
Arise in the Lord’s holy might
Ignited and empowered.

For God is calling you to come forth
To impact this world for Him
Don’t hold back or limit yourself
Let His power arise within.

And take His message to the world
To those that have lost their way
For you can surely make a difference
If you’d hear His voice and obey.

You shall be strengthened in the Lord
As you begin to arise
Conquering those doubts that pull you down
And believe who you are in Christ.

For you shall surely be transformed
As, in you, God increases more
And become a woman of true excellence
Bringing honour to her Lord.

Will (not maybe)

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. (Matthew 5:6)

What an eye-catching verse...

He has made a promise to fill those who crave Him; for the mouths that salivate longing for that righteousness, they will be filled. Not "maybe", not "possibly", and not "sooner or later", but He will fill you. His promises never fail; He will fill you.

The moment that we allow Him to grab a hold of our lives, and everything within them, He meets a need that nothing or no one else can fill. Suddenly, we understand what complete and utter satisfaction means.

Just to sit and think that we no longer have to live an empty life, and we've been handed a promise that hands us countless things... love, wholeness, peace, joy... This Love is...

my (our) Father.

I'm excited to know that you have been filled. I'm excited to know that I have been filled. And I'm excited to know that you can be filled... begin thirsting for Him... you will be filled.

Has, Is, and Will Be

Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. Isaiah 46:9-10

God is God...

He is the Creator of the universe, the ever reigning King, the Father, our Savior of the world... He is the Mastermind behind everything that has been, is, and will be.

Even before the creation of the world, this God had you in mind. Specifically you. He knew how much you were going to weigh when you were born, what color your eyes were going to be, how tall you were going to be when you hit middle school, that you'd be passionate about sports or the arts, your blood type, the exact moment you knew you were in love for the first time...

...even the very hairs of your head are all numbered... (Matthew 10:30)

We long for people to actually know us; to know who we are as a person. We long for attention and love. Especially women, we long to have a man know the smallest details about us... what our favorite books are, what our comfort food is, what makes our heart skip a beat in excitement, how we like our steak cooked... just think... there is in fact Someone who knows all of that, and so much more.

My beloved, God calls you His own. He knit you together and made you exactly how you are at this very moment. That bump on your nose... supposed to be there. The lacking in ability to play football... not a mistake. Your gift of encouragement... given to you on purpose. In our world if you're a woman and you have size 12 feet, you're a freak. If you're a guy and can't play basketball for the life of you, there must be something wrong with you. If you work in a church and struggle with intercession and prayer, maybe you should go into another field...

Flaws? Nope... the way you were made.

We each have different gifts, abilities, desires, hopes. He planted those things within us. If we all had the same look and talents, we'd be living in a very mechanical world. God doesn't want mechanical... He wants beautiful.

He wants... you.

He has incredible plans for you. There is pain and suffering intertwined with His plans, but to know that by always keeping your eyes fixed on Him, you will find joy in the darkest of times. You will find yourself laughing and dancing, when if without Him, you'd be drowning in the depths of your own waters. Paul was in prison for most of his life, but continued to praise God. During depression, David sang psalms to God... He never leaves your side, ever. Even when you don't feel good, it doesn't mean that God isn't good. He has BIG plans for your life... let Him show you. He wants to... He wants to show you so badly.

The moment you allow Him to direct you and take over your heart, you begin to grasp and taste the great things God has waiting for you. The sweetness is indescribable... for years you had planned on doing one thing... but after allowing Him to take the wheel, you find your desires shifting, guiding you in a direction you never would have dreamed of. And you find nothing but satisfaction in knowing that you are finally going after what He has called you to.

Coming to the surface after being held under water... that gasp of fresh air. Sitting in a bar where smoke blankets you... walking outside and inhaling the freshness of clean air. That my friends, is only a tiny glimpse of what God breathed air is like.

Let Him take you places. Trust Him... allow Him to lead you outside of where you feel comfortable. Ask Him to challenge you... ask for opportunities to shape you into the man or woman He so desires for you to be.

Get up and follow Him... I promise, He won't let you down.

...for in the image of God has God made man (Genesis 9:6b).

Thinking out loud

With less than a years worth of classes left, I've decided that I don't think I want to be a teacher anymore. Yes, I'm still going to get my degree, and yes I'm still going to try and do well... but come 2007 I hope to be running towards working in ministry full time rather then taking interviews as schools. As of right now I have an a few ideas of what I would love to do, but not yet has the Lord revealed to me what direction He wants me to go in. Junior high kids? College aged? Counseling? It's all very new and exciting... and I absolutely love it! We'll see what He has for me...

The other night I spent 5 hours painting. He's really teaching me more and more about how I can incorporate my artistic abilities into worshiping Him.

I'm heading up to Minnesota this coming weekend with about 35 other people from my church to hit the slopes. I'm ready to put my board on and cruise down the mountain... mountain? Hill perhaps? I know He's given me this talent and it brings Him joy when I find joy in it. There's something about snowboarding that pulls me closer to God... and I can't quite put my finger on it.

I was asked to help lead another trip to Romania this summer. I personally would love to go... but I don't think He wants me to go...

God is teaching me so much about only being with Him. He is so jealous for my love (and yours) and He longs to have all of me (you). To know that the Man of my dreams is right here (and always has been) chasing after me, blows me away. I'm excited to see where He takes me and I'm excited to one day be with a man who looks at Christ and can't help but know that same jealous love that He has for him.

The longer I'm in Des Moines, the more I love living here.

the same old thing...

As I've mentioned before, I love my job. I love the people I work with and I love the fact that I'm not confined to a desk all day long. I love that I get to go out, drive around, serve the lawyers I work for, and meet different people along the way.

I've been running into some of the same people about 3 days a week since early August, but rarely do I ever stop and start up a conversation with any of them. When I go downtown for one of my deliveries, I can walk into the courthouse, have the same 3 security guards nod their heads at me asking "how are things today for you darlin?" After my "going well, yourself?" response, they smile and tell me to "have a good one and we'll see you soon."

It's the same thing... over and over again...

and I feel horrible.

This same thing happens at Banks, the Post Office, a few other Firms, and just about every other place I go on a regular basis...

There is this one place I go all the time that is quite possibly a replica of Office Space; possibly even worse. I walk into this place and can't help but feel trapped... the only sound I ever hear is my own footsteps... on the carpet.

How could someone ever work in an environment like that? I can't imagine... I think I'd go crazy. I am so thankful that the Lord has not called me into that field. Yet then I wonder, would God actually call people to work in conditions like that? I want to say no because I see nothing attractive about sitting alone in a cube, completely silent all day long... and I don't know how anyone could... but He must. Why else would some of those people be there besides for just settling?

It's time for a change...

Yep,
it's definitely time.

Beauty

I was brought to Song of Solomon chapter 4 this morning... specifically to verses 7-10.

You are so beautiful, my beloved, so perfect in every part. "Come with me from Lebanon, my bride. Come down from the top of Mount Amana, from Mount Senir and Mount Hermon, where lions have their dens and panthers prowl. You have ravished my heart, my treasure, my bride. I am overcome by one glance of your eyes, by a single bead of your necklace. How sweet is your love, my treasure, my bride! How much better it is than wine! Your perfume is more fragrant than the richest of spices.

How beautiful it is to hear these words from our Father.

How beautiful it is to know that our God whispers these words to each and every one of us!

How beautiful it is to rest in these... simply amazing words.

How beautiful.

You have ravished my heart,
my treasure,
my bride!

This small piece of poetry that we can place out hands on is only a microscopic look at the love that the Lord Jesus pours over us every second of our lives. He simply adores you!

How beautiful,
how simply beautiful.

I pray that you never lose sight of the passion that Yeshua feels for you. That you're able to taste the sweetness He pours over you. That no longer you thirst for love, but take in His whole self and sense the joy that you bring Him; that you are filled and satisfied because you have Him dwelling in you. My hope is that you see yourself the way He does every moment that He lays His eyes on you; as simply stunning. I pray that you fully understand that you are His beloved; there is no greater love than He.

How beautiful you are, my beloved

how beautiful.

More Weddings

Let me begin by saying congratulations to a number of my friends in their recent engagments...

Congrats Allison and Chris, Jenny and Joe, Mya and Nathan, Michael and Heather, Kristie and Bill, Mollie and Ben... and Carrie and Perry on their marriage.

Whew. That's a lot...

Almost 2 weeks ago I watched my sister and her boyfriend of 6 years finally tie the knot. It was absolutely beautiful. The last wedding I went to was for my cousin when I was in 5th grade, so this one had quite a different impact on me (plus add that fact that my older sister was the bride).

Since I was a freshman in high school, I've been lucky enough to witness one of the most God honoring relationships ever. I don't just say that because she's my sister, but I honestly have never seen a relationship quite like theirs. It's been a blessing to witness their love for one another grow, but even more so, their love for the Lord join together.

Of course, I sobbed through the whole ceremony, but it was simply stunning. God has brought them so far and because of their patience, faithfulness, and purity to one another, they are truly going to be blessed by the Father.

I haven't danced that much in a long, long time... What a celebration it was. It's amazing to celebrate the joining of two people in God's presence. I don't think I have any other words that can express the incredible beauty that marriage is.

I pray that the Lord blesses each of my friends marriages and that He remain the center of their lives as they each come together.

Sidenote: I've decided that I don't think I want a diamond for my engagement ring...

Also, see a post from a number of weeks ago about being the Bride of Christ. He loves you passionately. To think that God wants a deep intimate relationship with you and calls you His bride.

Be.Satisfied

As much as I say that I can't wait to be out of college, I know that when May '07 comes I'll want nothing more than to be in college all over again. It's the breaks. I absolutely love getting a whole month off during Christmas to do whatever it is I want...

Art Institute of Chicago, Iowa Stars vs. Chicago Wolves, sleep in (everyday), paint, catch up on season 4 of 24, go shopping, hang out downtown, plus add in a bachelorette party, a rehearsal dinner, and a wedding.

Even with a month of free time, I still found myself not having enough time. I haven't been satisfied with 31 days... I want 62 days...

It's funny how we live life that way. We're never satisfied. I guarantee you that if I was given a 62 days winter break, I still would be happy... I'd want 124 days off.

We're never satisfied.

Never.

Since I didn't "have enough time" this winter break, this morning I was thinking about all the things I really wanted to do but couldn't (for one reason or another). Besides being bummed out about not spending a lot of time with some of my good friends before they all left, I was super bummed that I missed out on going to Passion this year. I had a great experience last year and would have loved to return again this year... this morning I went to the Passion 06 website to check out some pictures from the conference...

There was one picture that caught my attention. It was of a banner that they had hung up outside of the area... God taught me more from these two small words than I ever could imagine.

Be Satisfied.

Oh how my soul yearns for our world to be satisfied.

For me to be satisfied...

How beautiful are those words? How beautiful would it be to be completely and utterly 100% satisfied? Satisfied with the things we have, satisfied with the food we eat, satisfied with our friends, satisfied with our lives... satisfied because we have Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. Shouldn't He be enough?

Oh that we would be satisfied because of Him.

Bride of Christ

Weddings weddings everywhere...

it's crazy.

This time next week, I'll be all glammed up in a floor length red gown, hair done up with curls draping down, makeup on my face, diamonds around my neck, freshly painted finger nails, and 2 inch black heels thrown in some corner as I dance away celebrating the marriage of Ms. Amanda Cavender to my new brother in law, Mr. Elliot Bennett. I hope that the tears will have settled by this time.

It seems that rings are beginning to pop up on fingers left and right. And I'm not talking about people I know from a distance, but good friends. One of my roommates from last year called me last night to tell me that her boyfriend had just proposed.

That's 4 good friends now... (not including the 3 that tied the knot this past year).

Usually I would think that all this wedding talk would get me all sad because I'm not in a relationship and blah blah blah... but thankfully, that is not even close to how I'm feeling.

Thank the Lord.

Don't get me wrong, yes I do want to get married and yes, whenever I find out who that amazing man is, it's going to be simply incredible...

but all I can think about amongst this "season of weddings" is how I am (and you are) constantly being perused by the greatest Husband I (we) could ever have... by the One who calls me (you)beloved... and by the One who calls me (us) His bride. How absolutely amazing is that...?!

I get butterflies and teary eyed when I sit and try to fathom how madly in love with me (you) the Lord is.

Oh how I wish I loved Him more.

The Father has renamed us, just as in Isaiah He renamed Jerusalem:

Never again will you be called the Godforsaken City or the Desolate Land. Your new name will be the City of God's Delight and the Bride of God, for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as his own.

Wow.

I love Song of Solomon because it is a beautiful book that displays a relationship between a husband and a wife, but even more so it represents the passion and love the Father so heavily feels for you (and me). How amazing.

No one could ever love you more,

Bride of Christ.

THAT Moment

Do you ever remember that moment of actually understanding [something]? Not just understanding in your head, but understanding in your heart?

A time when you've always been aware [of this something] and you're able to repeat it over and over again to yourself and others, but it hadn't yet grasped your heart...

That moment when finally [that something] pierces your heart so hard that tears of joy and thankfulness flow out, because you finally get it...

That moment when you feel the release of the chains from around your heart, and feel nothing but the Spirit overwhelming you with an aroma of freedom...

... The moment when [that something] suddenly seems so far from important, that all you desire to do is drop to your knees and shout praises to the King...

... that moment...

That moment when you begin to remember what... Who... you live for. Suddenly everything you've been worrying about no longer matters and all that matters is falling madly in love with a Father, who has never once stopped pursuing you... or me...

That moment when everything comes together because He is King.

That moment when you are so close to Him that you can smell His presence and you can taste His goodness... that you can see the Kingdom.

... That moment when He reaches His hand out to you, and this time you couldn't bare not reaching back.

The moment when all you are able to see is the One.

That beautiful moment...

I love that moment.

Baby Names

So a friend of mine and I were talking about how many kids we each want to have and what names we really like... Since I want boys (along with one girl), I expressed my love for a few male Biblical names: Caleb, Elijah, and Noah.

"But I don't know if I could be that lady who names all her kids after people in the Bible... I'd turn into the mom from 7th Heaven... Matthew, Mary, Lucy... Lucifer?, Simon, Ruth, David, and Samuel. I don't know..."

My friend then went on to tell me about a family she taught swimming lessons to for 2 years. They had four boys, and I kid you not, their names were Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

C'mon.

So what were they going to do if they had a fifth child? Name him Acts? What if they had a girl? Still name her Acts?

So I got this great idea... I'm just going to become one of "those mom's", but I won't use any of the common Biblical names like James or Peter. If you're gonna be "that lady" you might as well just go all out...

Habakkuk perhaps? Haggai? Jehoiachin? Or one of my favorite, Xerxes?

Philemon is a great possibility as well.

Oh Christians. They make me laugh.

Side note: I just found out that my name means "to protect". Good stuff. What does your name mean?

Good ol' Davy

Psalm 69 always seems to leave me in awe. David's love for the Lord and his faithfulness to Him is astonishing.

David had been over taken with depression and pain, yet he still lifted praises to his Creator. At this moment in his life, he felt nothing but sadness, yet he continually said "Your great love for me", "Your love is so good", "Your great kindness"...

Though David saw no result of God answering his cry, never once did he think the Lord would not be there to save him from his depression. He never once walked away from Him amidst his hurting.

There is so much I could say...

The cry and faithfulness of David:

1 Save me, O God,

for the floodwaters are up to my neck.
2 Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;

I can't find a foothold to stand on.

I am in deep water,

and the floods overwhelm me.
3 I am exhausted from crying for help;

my throat is parched and dry.

My eyes are swollen with weeping,

waiting for my God to help me.
4 Those who hate me without cause

are more numerous than the hairs on my head.

These enemies who seek to destroy me

are doing so without cause.

They attack me with lies,

demanding that I give back what I didn't steal.
5 O God, you know how foolish I am;

my sins cannot be hidden from you.
6 Don't let those who trust in you stumble because of me,

O Sovereign LORD Almighty.

Don't let me cause them to be humiliated,

O God of Israel.
7 For I am mocked and shamed for your sake;

humiliation is written all over my face.
8 Even my own brothers pretend they don't know me;

they treat me like a stranger.
9 Passion for your house burns within me,

so those who insult you are also insulting me.
10 When I weep and fast before the LORD,

they scoff at me.
11 When I dress in sackcloth to show sorrow,

they make fun of me.
12 I am the favorite topic of town gossip,

and all the drunkards sing about me.
13 But I keep right on praying to you, LORD,

hoping this is the time you will show me favor.

In your unfailing love, O God,

answer my prayer with your sure salvation.
14 Pull me out of the mud;

don't let me sink any deeper!

Rescue me from those who hate me,

and pull me from these deep waters.
15 Don't let the floods overwhelm me,

or the deep waters swallow me,

16 Answer my prayers, O LORD,

for your unfailing love is wonderful.

Turn and take care of me,

for your mercy is so plentiful.
17 Don't hide from your servant;

answer me quickly, for I am in deep trouble!
18 Come and rescue me;

free me from all my enemies.
19 You know the insults I endure--

the humiliation and disgrace.

You have seen all my enemies

and know what they have said.
20 Their insults have broken my heart,

and I am in despair.

If only one person would show some pity;

if only one would turn and comfort me.
21 But instead, they give me poison for food;

they offer me sour wine to satisfy my thirst.
22 Let the bountiful table set before them become a snare,

and let their security become a trap.
23 Let their eyes go blind so they cannot see,

and let their bodies grow weaker and weaker.
24 Pour out your fury on them;

consume them with your burning anger.
25 May their homes become desolate

and their tents be deserted.
26 To those you have punished,

they add insult to injury;

they scoff at the pain of those you have hurt.
27 Pile their sins up high,

and don't let them go free.
28 Erase their names from the Book of Life;

don't let them be counted among the righteous.
29 I am suffering and in pain.

Rescue me, O God, by your saving power.
30 Then I will praise God's name with singing,

and I will honor him with thanksgiving.
31 For this will please the LORD more than sacrificing an ox

or presenting a bull with its horns and hooves.
32 The humble will see their God at work and be glad.

Let all who seek God's help live in joy.
33 For the LORD hears the cries of his needy ones;

he does not despise his people who are oppressed.
34 Praise him, O heaven and earth,

the seas and all that move in them.
35 For God will save Jerusalem

and rebuild the towns of Judah.

His people will live there

and take possession of the land.
36 The descendants of those who obey him

will inherit the land,

and those who love him will live there in safety.

Revival vs. Tea Party (you pick)

As Christians, our responsibility is to be witnesses for Jesus - not to be politically correct people pleasers. I like what an English Bishop once said, "Everywhere Paul went there was either a revival or a revolution. Everywhere I go they serve tea."

I hate tea if you get my drift!

Enough said.

Amen.

Stoked

So... I'm totally stoked for Friday morning at 12:01am. Why? Because of this:

Yes that's right folks... myself and some friends are going to see the midnight showing of The Chronicles of Narnia. I've never been this excited to see a movie before (except maybe when I was in 7th grade and Titanic came out...) but this is a tad bit different.

This is MY Matrix... this is MY Lord of the Rings... this is MY Harry Potter... this could be one of the only movies I ever buy tickets for a week in advance and attend the midnight showing. But, I will not, and I repeat NOT, be dressing up. No lion costume, no witch costume, no faun costume, no beaver costume, and absolutely no wardrobe costume.

I'm so giddy... I feel like a little kid again.

happiness/joy #76-100

here's the final list for ya, #76-100:

76.) spending time with good girlfriends
77.) art museums
78.) visiting my best friend in cali
79.) prayer walks
80.) getting a foot massage
81.) when my sisters and i chase eachother around the house (yes… we chase eachother… screaming, laughing, hitting)
82.) going to professional baseball games, and eating peanuts with a huge soda
83.) driving into a big city (ex: chicago) late at night
84.) the words “i love you”
85.) oreo’s and peanut butter
86.) laying on a blanket late at night looking up at the stars
87.) 24
88.) witnessing Christ transform lives
89.) long funny voicemails from friends
90.) sleepovers
91.) junior high kids
92.) walking into a newly painted room
93.) feeding ducks
94.) seeing a dad playing with his kids (especially when it’s obvious that he’s a fairly new father)
95.) petting huge furry dogs
96.) falling asleep outside under the sun
97.) making snow angels
98.) holding and playing with a baby
99.) dmc’s (deep meaningful convsersations)
100.) sitting on the very top of a mountain, above the clouds on a sunny day staring out at God’s gorgeous creation