declares the Lord.

"for I know the plans I have for you."

learning to need You.

daily i am amazed at the Mercy of the Father. His Grace is never ending. And His Love is eternal. everyone goes through life searching for something to identify with, and attempting to learn about themselves, about others, and about what this life is all about.

whenever i listen to this justin mcroberts song, i can't help but weep.

"i cry out Your name,
i am in need of Your Mercies Jesus,
despite my pride and my shame;
i'm learning to need You."

i know in my head that i need Jesus. i know that the Bible says i need Jesus. and i know that Jesus says that i need Him. but for some reason, i still don't get it.

... so everyday... i am still [just] learning [for the first time, each time] to need You.

and i'm excited to learn again tomorrow.

theknot.com

Check out our wedding website: The Wilds

getting married.

monday march 17th, 2008 - matt proposed while we were snowboarding at snowmass in aspen, colorado.

the Lord had this relationship in mind from the very beginning. we both lived our separate lives; me in chicago and des moines, matt in new york and pennsylvania. matt followed the Lord's calling to wichita back in 2002 when he accepted a job working for cessna aircraft. it took me a few more years, but i found my way to wichita in may of 2007 after graduating college, taking a youth internship, and accepting a great teaching opportunity teaching 7th grade language arts in the wichita public schools.

both of us were unsure about moving to wichita, and even questioned God as to why He'd call us to such a random place; very different from chicago and pennsylvania.

soon after my arrival in wichita matt and i met after church one afternoon. we ran into each other a few other times, but it wasn't until after matt made up an excuse to get my phone number that anything happened between us. he was getting ready to head to chicago and said he might need someone to give him tips of where to go while he was downtown.

smooth.

matt never actually called me while he was in chicago, but the high schooler he was mentoring talked to him the evening he got back into town and told him he needed to get to know me more. that same day i recieved his call.

talking on the phone for a few days led to our first date that next weekend (june 22, 2007).

over the past 9 months the Lord has worked in great ways, teaching both of us incredible things about ourselves, each other, and relationships. God has been our center from day one, and through our patience, obedience, willingness to leave our own selfishness behind, and growth of love for one another and the Lord, He has given us permission to become husband and wife.

i can't wait until october 18, 2008.

here are some pictures from our week in colorado:

the view from where matt proposed in aspen ("Garrett's Gulch")

me crying

my wonderful fiance

my beautiful ring

so excited to get married!

where has all the motivation gone?

i ended the quarter teaching my students poetry. we discussed haiku, monoryhme, cinquain, nonet, shape, along the simple alliteration and acrostic. but their all time favorite type was one called a 'clerihew'.

this specific poem is only four lines long. it's focus is to poke-fun or talk about a celebrity. the first two lines have to rhyme (aka a 'couplet' for those of you lacking in your poetry knowledge), while the second two lines rhyme (the second 'couplet').

today as i was grading their final project, a book composed of their own original poems following the format of seven types that we discussed, i couldn't help but laugh out loud at the creativity that some of my students had while writing their 'clerihew'...

lil' wayne

wears a big chain;

while he's singing

he sure is blinging.

.

.

britney spears

sheds her tears;

when she went bald

the doctor she called.

.

.

justin timberlake

isn't no fake;

he's so fly

i think i'm gonna die.

.

.

beyonce

is jay-z's finance;

he loves her so

she doesn't even know.

.

sure these poems aren't difficult and they don't seem like that big of deal, but you may have to know my 7th graders to understand how proud of them i am.

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apathy is effecting the world today in ways that it never has before, especially the youth today. if something doesn't involve technology, they don't want to do it. if they have to read something, no way. and if they have to write more than two sentences, absolutely not.

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my roommate, becky, is a 6th grade science teacher at stucky with me. we carpool to work and usually our drive home is our "complain about lazy and annoying kids" time. but about a month ago our hearts really began to break as we talked about how the spirit of apathy really is engulfing children today. this laziness then continues into high school, college, and follows them into adulthood.

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i constantly ask myself, 'what can i do to engage my students more and to help them really enjoy learning.' i'm not a teacher who stands in front of the class and lectures while they take notes. we have group discussions, we do group work, we read together, we play games to help them review concepts, and we do a lot of hands-on activities. i'm even lucky enough to have access to [my very own] technology that really [should] grab their attention.

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yet, even when i make lessons fun and engaging, they still don't care.

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when they have a 28% in class because they 'just don't want to do homework'... they don't care.

when they get to work with a partner... they'd rather sit and do nothing.

when they are given the opportunity to pick a topic that they enjoy... they choose nothing.

and when they are given an assignment to finish up by the end of the class period... they'd rather take the zero.

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youth today don't want to work. they want everything handed to them. if it's too hard, they quit. it's a constant battle to get them to focus and really care about school; anything related to working hard that is.

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what is happening to our world? why has the spirit of apathy begun to take over the sons and daughters of God?

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for the Lord said that we have been created in the image of Him. apathy is not one of those characteristics. this just reminds me of the sin that we can so easily fall into without even realizing it. God desires, even more than i do, that they would rid themselves of the sin that has engulfed them; that they would run whole-heartedly towards Jesus, willing to continue running even when something hard jumps in their way.

.

.

... maybe i'll have to stick with the clerihew to keep them motivated for now...

where has the passion gone?

i began writing this blog about three years ago when a friend at the time encouraged me to use my love for writing as a ministry tool.

so i began. i wasn't really sure what i was doing or what exactly i was supposed to write about. i just wrote. i shared about God, Love, what i was learning, what i hoped to do in life, what my friends were teaching me, and even at times went deep in order to share my heart.

i stayed "commited" to my blog, writing almost daily. my love for writing continued to grow. i began to see how a silly little blog could actually minister to people via the internet. the effect it was having was confirmed during a visit to ihop in kansas city about two years ago.

yet, somewhere along the way my passion started to dwindle. hence the absence for almost three months. it seems that writing became a chore for me. and even when the Lord opens my eyes to something Glorious, i find myself only wanting to keep it to myself instead of using my story to share God and encourage others. if this is one way that i'm able to reveal God to friends and strangers, why am i not jumping at the opportunity?

what's the deal...?...

i desire that my passion for writing and for sharing my writing, would be reborn within me. i miss logging onto the ol' blog, excited about what i have for the people of cyber space.


on a lighter note...

spring break begins friday, and i cannot express how excited i am to be away from my 110 7th graders for an entire week. oh how i love them, but oh how i need a break from the constant screaming coming from across the room, "ms. cavender i need helppppppppp!!!!"

airport [bliss]

here i sit at the wichita airport, awiting my flight to o'hare. but, as always, o'hare has caused delays for some flights; including mine.

i got to the airport with plenty of time to spare (two hours early). i waited in line for two hours to check my bags. luckily (and not so) within those two hours, my plane managed to be reported as delayed twice. if things go as they predict, we should be in the air within the next hour.

i admit though, i was not happy as i stood in line and heard that i was delayed. i thought a few things, and even said a number of comments under my breath and to the people around me. i purposely gave airport workers dissatisfied looks, and threw negative comments out about the people around me who didn't know how to use the check-in computers.

stressed? indeed.

after walking through security, and getting some food, i found a little spot to sit in order to update the blog (where i am at the moment). i then began thinking...

i had no right to act the way that i did. it's embarassing to think about, let alone express my actions via blog.

the more i thought about my behavior, the stronger the Lord spoke in my heart. i have the privilage of knowing a Savior. i have been rescued and given grace. i know God. i have chosen to give Him my heart, and i have stood delcaring the name of Jesus. i have dedicated my life to living for Jesus Christ, and to enhancing His Kingdom. if all of this is indeed true, then i must act like it. even when i find myself in an airport, surrounded by crabby people who turn to me and say "does that moron even know what he's doing!?" i must live how i say that i live.

but then my heart began to ache. and i couldn't help but ask, 'what would it be like to not know that my heart belonged to the Father?'

how would that change me? who would i be? how would i talk? and how would i act while awaiting a flight to o'hare in the wichita airport?

a glorious thanksgiving.

as matt and i were driving [the 12 hour drive] to chicago from wichita, something glorious began to happen between kansas city and the iowa boarder...

it began to snow.

my mom had been telling me that for the past few weeks, chicago has been getting flurries and serious snow was in the radar. i was jealous. it snows in kansas, but nothing like chicago snow.

just the other day it was 75 degrees in wichita. and as far as i know, there is no snow predicted in the near future.

so if someone were to ask me what's one thing that i'm thankful for this thanksgiving, as ridiculous as it may seem, i'd say that i'm thankful for snow. you don't realize how much something means to you until you don't have it... and in this instance, moving permanently away from chicago and des moines, i've moved away from big snows.

i think i will go out and build a snowman.

scuffed up hands.

Being a teacher, I don’t get to do much physical labor, or “working with my hands”, so to speak. I don’t get to do any building or lifting of any sort. [Normally] you would find no calluses on these hands…

Yet, after this weekend you may find a number of bruises, cuts, scratches, and chipped fingernails covering my hands… and arms… and feet… and legs…

I spent the weekend helping Matt work on his new house. He’s not building it himself, but he’s doing a good amount on his own. One of those things included tiling. A lot of tiling… with complicated designs. Yesterday we finished up with the front entry way, the fireplace, the laundry room, and the master bath (bathtub and an entire shower).

I’d be okay if I never saw tile again…

Men are definitely built more for that kind of stuff. I was able to do it, and surprisingly, I did it well… but… I’m exhausted. My hands are sore, my back aches, my feet hurt, and I still have some putty in my hair that I can’t get out… [sigh].

There were times when I found myself wanting to go home and to stop helping because I was so tired, and then thought to myself, ‘“serving” isn’t one of my spiritual gifts’… And then I realized how ridiculously lame that logic was.

“Serving isn’t my gifting, so I’m just not gonna do it.”

Lame.

I get tired of people, particularly myself, using the “that’s not my spiritual gift” excuse in order to not do something, or get by with not doing it well. I understand that the Lord has gifted some people with one thing more than another, but to say that something isn’t “my strongest gift”, in order to squeeze my way out of it, is absolutely ridiculous.

We are called to be like Christ, right? Therefore, I have to ask myself a simple question, ‘did Jesus serve people while He was here on earth?’

Yes.

It says in Ephesians 5, “Be imitators of God…”

Be imitators… imitate God. Be LIKE God. Aim high, and be as Christ is; live as Christ lived.

That’s a pretty high expectation to live up to… really high. Too high in fact. Yet, we are called to that role.

Ephesians 4: 22-24: “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds by letting the Holy Spirit dwell within you; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (my own words in bold).

I do not need to walk around looking for manual labor work in order to be like Christ or to serve people well, but when I do find myself in positions of “getting my hands dirty”, I will do it with a joyful heart.

My ultimate desire is to be like my Father. To do so, I must do as He does. Serve as Christ served. Pray as Christ prayed. And Love as He Loves. Again, too high of an expectation, but I will do whatever I need to in order to be transformed, even if that involves “service”.

So as I sit here, I look down at my hands, and at the large bruise that has overtaken my left arm, and see a reminder of my hard work over the weekend, and of the transformation that is continuing to take place deep within my heart.

Again, I don’t have a great gifting of service (especially service dealing with manual labor), but I desire to. “Eagerly desire spiritual gifts…” (1 Corinthians 14:1). The Lord says to ask, and it will be given to us; perhaps not in the way that we expect, but something will change. As an attitude changes, so does the heart. Thus begins the process of a greater understanding, and a greater resemblance to Jesus.

Perhaps I should stay clear of getting a manicure for a while…

reminiscence (of then).

this week i have been doing a lot of thinking.

i've found myself thinking back to what my life was like in high school, as i went through college, the start of my "official" adult working life from this summer, and where i am now.

sometimes i wonder, 'how the heck did i get here?'

it's been one crazy ride, that's for sure

high school is where i began to be shaped. where i allowed the Heavenly Father to truly take a hold of me and begin work within. after four years of attending [glorious] lake forest high school, and being one step closer to who the Lord desired for me to be, i remember packing up my junk into my mom's tahoe and moving to des moines, iowa to begin the next step.

des moines suited me;
drake suited me.

i made incredible friends, attended a God-driven church, found myself being challenged spiritually in ways i never had before, and for the first time, heard the calling He put over my life.

just a a year ago i was mentally preparing myself for student teaching, i was in a relationship with a man who held the Lord's heart in his hand, i was forming new friendships with some incredible people, and i was wondering how the heck God's dream for my life would ever become reality while in iowa.

i knew that He desired more for me, but i was comfortable then.

i was satisfied.
i was fearful of the unknown.
and i was trying to reject the change that was entering in.

throughout my entire life, the Lord shifts the world at the very moment that i fall back into those places. He knows, and i know now, that if i continue to be "comfortable" or be "satisfied" with where i am, i will remain there, rejecting the Beauty that He has planned.

though there are some days i wish to return to "how things were", i also know that it's only because it's what i knew. i was familiar with "then." i am not familiar with "now."

i still have great love for the people from my past, even if we've lost communication. each person, and every situation, my God has used to form this child into what He desires.

why?

because it's all about Him.

everything is about Him. He's not trying to give your life "make over" because you're getting too comfortable and enjoying life too much; He's shifting gears because it's about Him. He's not speaking the end of relationships (both friends and romantic) because they aren't healthy, or because they're not good enough, or because they're too perfect... He approves, or disapproves, those relationships because it's all about Him.

the Father wants all the worship, all the glory, and all the praise. He will do whatever it takes to be recognized, and for the world to see that it's all about Him.

so i can sit around and desire to return to how things were my freshman year of college, or to when i was five, but when i do, that is when i begin to make everything about me.

and it's not.
nothing is about me.
it's about Him.

so to try and answer my question, 'how the heck did i get here?' i can say, i am where i am today because it's all about Him.

simple.

at this moment, i stand in a place where i can recognize and make it, all about Him. i trust that the moment i begin to move away from this understanding and begin desiring something for myself, He will rush it, drastically change my life; with the purpose only of, reminding me who this world is about.

Him.

(pardon the) absence.

Over two months and no entry.

So is the life of a first year teacher...

These past nine weeks have been absolutely insane. I knew that teaching would be tough, but this semi hit me head on, knocking me flat on my face at times. Good day, bad day...

[sigh].

I want to say that the hard work for the year is finally over, knock on wood; but I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of this "playing teacher" stuff. I'm walking into the next nine weeks with new vision and new direction.

A (quick) update...

1. I found a House of Prayer here... God is moving greatly at Living Waters. I try and spend my Tuesday evenings at the HOP. It's nice to have a couple of hours where I actually rid myself of school and thinking about my little 7th graders. I'd love to see them open 24 hours...

2. I have the greatest boyfriend in the world (enough said).

3. Last weekend was the first weekend in 8 weeks where I stayed in town. I love traveling, but I sometimes forget how much I really do enjoy staying at home and doing absolutely nothing. No traveling for me until Thanksgiving...

4. After a two month hiatis from working with the high school youth group at my church, I'll be returning tomorrow evening for an event they're having. I'm looking forward to jumping back into my "director" role (aka keeping people on schedule and being announcement girl).

5. Perfectionism is not out of the question... it's amazing how and who God uses to open up Truth in your life (check out a guy named Randy Storms... he's written a book that is changing lives, and is serving God incredibly with his gifts). He has an amazing story. My meetings with him are bringing me to a place of renewal... praise God.

6. Last week were parent/teacher conferences... I am proud to report I had no crazies show up and yell at me claiming that their child was perfect, and that the only reason their kid had an F was because I hated them.

7. There will be a DSM stop on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving with Mr. Wild as we travel our way east to wonderful Chicago...

8. I love my roommate. I love how much she loves God. I love that her heart is sold out for bringing glory to the King. I love that she's funny, and loves to do dorky things. AND, I love that she's clean. ...we're having a pumpkin carving/The Office party this Thursday. So pumped.

9. I apologize to everyone for my lack of staying in touch. Like I said, first year teaching REALLY IS overwhelming and stressful. As the year continues, I'm finding myself able to manage my time better and I'm not letting the weight of school kill me.

There will be more posts in the near future... and I promise, they will be more profound than this.

The end.

(ups) downs.

I am tired.
This heart constantly being challenged.
But I'm tired...
Sometimes wanting to give up; it's difficult to not give in.

He said to stay strong.
"But I'm tired.
I don't know how to go on."

Be still.
He reminded me to be still.
Be still.
Be still, and silent.
"Let My words speak deeply to your heart.
And be still."

Physically exhasted.
Waking up early, coming home late.
Kids not behaving, raising my voice.
Serving, praying, worshiping.
Searching for motivation...

Restoring a heart.
Your heart... my heart.
Love being renewed.
New love being discovered.

He knows the pain and confusion,
but reminds you of the passion.

He says to be still.
"Remember to be still.
Be still.
Be still and know who I Am."

I will continue.
I will be still.
I will recognize my Father.
I will not give in.
I will let Love enter my heart,
and I will love with complete abandon.

Will you?

homeowner.

Being a homeowner is weird, not gonna lie. I'm stuck. No more moving for me for a while... a long while actually.

.

But I like that I'm stuck here. I like that I can't just pick up and leave... owning a home will definitely keep me grounded in the promise land.

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Yes, I said "the promise land." Kansas is just that.

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I have nothing profound to say... and it seems it's been that way for a while now. I'm currently in the desert. Either God is being extremely silent, or I haven't been a good listener; probably the latter.

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I down right suck at being a child of God sometimes... or most of the time I should say.

.

But don't get me wrong, things are going well. I'm learning a lot and being challenged a lot. God is opening doors like mad. Within the next week I should be able to share about some of those pretty sweet opportunities.

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Until then, here are a some pictures of my beautiful new condo. Enjoy!

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My beautiful kitchen

Kitchen/dinning room

Living/dinning room

Living/dinning room/kitchen

Living room/view of loft

My office in the loft

1/2 bath off of the kitchen

My pretty bathroom

My bedroom

road trip.

In need of some entertainment? I highly encourage you to check this out...


An old friend of mine from high school, Tyler, and his friend who I [unfortunately] do not know, Disney, graduated from college in New York this May with no job and no plan.

So... what did they decide to do? What any recently graduated college students would do... buy an ambulance and road trip across the country.

Tyler and Disney are currently making their way across the United States in an ambulance whom they have named Tammy. As they make their trek, they have posted blogs and videos to help keep the public updated on their whereabouts/run-ins.

I have enjoyed reading and watching bits and pieces of this road trip take place.

Genius.

Their videos are on YouTube, as well as on their own personal blog. You can also find them on MySpace and in a group on Facebook, all in which are dedicated to this phenomenal idea.

Sit back, relax, watch, laugh, cry, love, and join the trip across the states with the genius' who are Tyler Schwartz and Andrew Disney.

growing up.

When the Lord first called me to Kansas, I had it in my head that I'd be returning to Iowa after the summer, but deep down I could feel Him pressing Kansas on my heart for much longer than a few months. Once I accepted a teaching position, I then knew I'd for sure be staying at least a year... but I still sense God telling me to unpack my bags and to get comfortable.

"We're going to be here a while."

Last weekend I took a huge step... I bought a condo. My dear friend Stephanie had a dream a while back about me wanting to buy a condo, and in her dream I found one that I really wanted and was "a mansion condo" (don't ask me how that works).

Well, I think I found it. And with the Lord's permission, I bought it.

I had a target price I wanted to get the guy at, but I had a feeling I was going to have to offer way less then my desired price. So I did. Long story short, after a few offers and much intercession happening at the exact moment the seller was contemplating, he soon after accepted my target price. I signed the papers, I was officially approved for my loan, and by July 16th, I will officially be a home owner.

Daily He is reminding me and confirming that Wichita, Kansas is exactly where He wants me. Already I can look back over the past month and see the Hand of God in every moment of everyday that I wake up.

He is Faithful. And Good. And Gracious. And Magnificent. And Glorious. And Powerful. He is God. He is my King.

Sidenote: I'll put pictures up soon, but my condo is 1,450 square feet, 3 stories, 2 bedrooms, 1.5 bath, newly remodeled (as in, it was gutted and everything is brand new), granite countertops, Italian tile, new stainless steel appliances, an amazing [huge] stone fireplace, and has a loft above the kitchen. The owner is still finishing it up, but it's beautiful.

ravish.

He has ravished my heart with His Word.

Day in and day out my eyes are fixed upon the Words of my Father. I have never felt so eager to jump into His Book and discover new depths of His heart.

As my eyes go from left to right over each word, the verses have become alive... real... they have become flesh. I am able to see deep inside of the Lord's heart; Truth is being revealed.

He has ravished my heart with His Word.

I am hungry for more... I am thirsty to understand, fully. I want to grasp what He was speaking then, what He is speaking now, and what He has for the future. My desire is Jesus; to know Jesus. I search night and day for revelation... for His power... for Love. To know God is my hearts desire.

Yes, He has ravished my heart with His Word.

To know that I have been unfaithful to the One who cannot be unfaithful, breaks my heart. I cannot live a life without Him as my center - the center of my thoughts, actions, and words.

As I studied to preach on Hezekiah and Hannah these past couple of weeks, I was reminded of what it means to believe and trust in the Almighty. I want to stand my ground when the world is against me... and I want to pray with complete sincerity. I want streams to flow from my eyes as I meditate on His Holiness. I want to fall to my knees as I bring Him praise. I want to stand amazed as I think about His Grace. I want to be confident that I hear the words that He is [constantly] speaking.

I want my heart to break.
I want to find myself broken at His feet.

For He has ravished my heart.
Yes, He has ravished my heart.
You O Lord, have ravished my heart.
My God the King... You have captured a broken heart.

there's no place like home.

Kansas is nicknamed "The Sunflower State."
The state animal is the buffalo and the state insect is the honey bee.
Wichita is the largest city in Kansas, and Topeka is the capital.
Kansas lies in the middle of "Tornado Alley."
Kansas won the award for most beautiful license plate, for the wheat plate design issued in 1981.
At one time, Kansas had a law against serving ice cream on top of cherry pie.
Kansas has the largest population of wild grouse in North America; wild grouse = prairie chicken
The first Pizza Hut opened in Wichita.
A ball of hail, weighing one and a half pounds, landed in Kansas.
Kansas was a part of the Oregon Trail.
The state song is "Home on the Range."
It is illegal to catch a fish with your bare hands.
It is illegal to leave your car running unattended.
Kansas has a Barbed Wire Fence Museum.
The Wizard of Oz Museum lies in Wamego, Kansas.
It is prohibited to urinate on the side of a building, and spitting on the sidewalk could get you arrested.
Musical car horns are banned.
Overland Park prohibits picketing of funerals.
Unfortunetly, Kansas is where Fred Phelps "church" resides.
Kansas is smack in the middle of the United States.

People from Kansas call the Arkansas River the "Ark-Kansas River".

You don't go get coffee or a soda, you go get a "coke".

The wind never stops blowing... ever.

.

Kansas. My new home.

unfamiliar sky.

The sky looks different here.

Everyday I wake up and catch a glimpse of an unfamiliar sky. It's same sky that I saw in Lake Forest and in Des Moines, but the Kansas sky is... unlike any sky I've seen before.

God is reminding me of His faithfulness... and He is reminding me of the [incredible] newness He promised me when I agreed to move down here.

The sky is reminding me of my life during this season.

who Am I?

And here I am; getting settled in my new home in Wichita, Kansas. I admit it's weird, but I cannot express how right it feels to be here. It's exciting to finally step into the place that I've been preparing for, and to see the place that God has been preparing for me.

As I drove down here a couple of days ago, the Lord said, "Jackie, who Am I?" What? God, what do you mean, 'who Am I?' "No Jackie, WHO AM I?"

I didn't get what He meant the first time He asked, but after my questioning of what He meant, He became more firm.

"WHO AM I?"

Oh, now I get it...

You are my God... the One who takes care of me... the One who stands next to me and walks with me daily... the One who loves me even when I'm being a complete moron... the One who says I'm beautiful and worthy of Love... the One who has called me to be apart of His Kingdom... the One who has freed me from death... You are my God. Creator. Savior. Father. You are my God. My... God.

I will not fear what lies a head of me. I will not fear living in a place that is unfamiliar. I will not fear... I will not fear...

"Leaving the familiar is terrifying, but entering the unknown is Glorious."

I am being taken care of. There is nothing in me that says I haven't been called here. I trust and believe that my Lord would never lead me to a place that would not glorify Him, or a place that would completely destroy me. Of course, I must keep my eyes fixed upon Him in order to fully walk in His presence, but my being here is intended for Him to receive all praise and to enlarge His Kingdom.

"Who Am I?"

I like that God asked me that. I like that He challenged me to think beyond my earthly understanding of Him. I like that He reminded me of how I have nothing to fear because I am a daughter of God. And I like that I was reminded of the battle we must fight every day.

Children, who Am I? I ask you again... WHO AM I?

who are you?

Recently, I was asked what person from the Bible I thought I was most similar to or could relate to the most. My first inclination was not to respond; I couldn't pick just one.

I began thinking about this question further. We all go through different seasons during our lives; therefore, changing who it is we can relate to during that specific time. I simply asked the Lord to show me who I "was" right now; at the place I'm standing at this moment of my life.

I was surprised by what the Lord spoke to me. I had a few in mind that I thought He's show me… but He took me to one of the last places I would have ever thought; 1 Kings:

Solomon loved the Lord and followed all the decrees of his father, David, except that Solomon, too, offered sacrifices and burned incense at the local places of worship. The most important of these places of worship was at Gibeon, so the king went there and sacrificed 1,000 burnt offerings. That night the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream, and God said, 'What do you want? Ask, and I will five it to you!'

Solomon replied, 'You showed faithful love to your servant my father, David, because he was honest and true and faithful to you. And you have continued your faithful love to him today by giving him a son to sit on his throne.

Now, O Lord my God, you have made me king instead of my father, David, but I am like a little child who doesn't know his way around. And here I am in the midst of your own chosen people, a nation so great and numerous they cannot be counted! Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong. For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?'

The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for wisdom. So God replied, 'Because you have asked for wisdom in governing my people with justice and have not asked for a long life or wealth or the death of your enemies – I will give you what you asked for! I will give you a wise and understanding heart such as no one else has had or ever will have! And I will also give you what did not ask for – riches and fame! No other king in the world will be compared to you for the rest of your life! And if you follow me and obey my decrees and my commands as your father, David did, I will give you a long life.'

I'm not a male, and I'm certainly not a king, but as I read through these verses over and over again, I began to see why the Lord was speaking Solomon's name over my life right now. It's always cool when God surprises us.

So who are you most like? What person from the Bible can you most identify with at this moment?